Sunday June 30th

The Good- I am having such a great time on vacation! I am doing a lot of things that I never even knew were in California! We are all tired, but it is so worth it. Being together is great and I'm glad we are all getting along.

The Bad- There's not a lot of spare time to workout. It's kind of a good thing that I missed a day before vacation started, because it would have been difficult to have tried to get in a run everyday while with the family. I'm not saying it would have been impossible, but definitely easier to just enjoy the vacation by relaxing.

The Positive- I am not upset with myself for not getting in my workouts. I am allowing myself to relax, while still staying excited about exercising when we get back home.

The Workout-

Thoughts for the Day- 

* Boysenberry preserves from the Apple Farm = a great way to start the morning. Buying a jar of boysenberry preserves = a great way to start every morning for awhile.

* Walking around Hearst Castle is amazing. Watching the movie about why he built the house makes the tour so much more interesting. Such amazing rooms and such amazing history. So glad I was able to come back here as an adult (I was 14ish the first time). I am able to appreciate it so much more now.

* I got emotional when we found the elephant seals. It makes me realize that I should have pursued being a marine biologist. My mom says it's never too late, so we'll see what happens in the future. For now it's not an option because both Patrick and I have to work full time. I could not believe the number if seals and the size. I cannot imagine that the beach gets filled through March and April.

* Driving on the 17 mile road to the lone cypress was amazing. It was great getting out at different scenic points to get out and take pictures. We saw seals and otters and it was beautiful the entire way.

Saturday June 29th

The Good- I went to the beach and actually spent part of the time in my bikini (meaning no shorts!). I was uncomfortable at first but like my sister said "when are you ever going to see these people again?" And it's true. Not only should I not care what these people think, but I can probably guarantee that not one of them were even concerned about me, my body or the fact that I was in a bikini. There were a lot of people at the beach today which means there were a variety of body types. The most important thing I have to remember is that if I have confidence then it doesn't matter what I wear, I'm going to rock it!

The Bad- There is a gym at our hotel tonight. Open 24 hours and complimentary. I made plans for my mom to watch Isabel for an hour so that I could go on the treadmill and elliptical. We got back from dinner and walking around just after 8pm. I did not make it to the gym. Instead I stopped at the lounge for a drink (or two) with my sister and brother in law. Whoops! Guess I should stop thinking I'll actually complete a workout that I scheduled while on vacation.. 

The Positive- Seeing a picture of myself in a bikini is both good and bad. It let me see that my body is not as bad as I thought, but also is motivation to keep working at it when we get back home.

The Workout-

Thoughts for the Day- 

* I ate a bug today. On purpose.. We were in Pismo beach and they were selling worms and crickets at a candy store. So we seized the day and my mom, sister and I each ate a worm. I chickened out at first, but ended up eating one. I can now cross that off of my bucket list (after I add it)..

* I get frustrated being in the car and not being able to take pictures out the window. I have seen about 342,971 great photo op's just from driving place to place and yet I can't stop to actually take the picture. There are worse things in life, but it is irritating!

* An 18 ounce steak from Jocko's is huge and way too much for one person to eat. I couldn't even make it half way! Props to my dad, sister and brother in law for finishing the whole thing (including salad, baked potato with the fixin's and garlic bread).

* Bubblegum Alley is both fascinating and disgusting. The amount of gum on the walls is amazing and I am a little excited to be a part of it.

* A $5 sea breeze is not half bad. It's been awhile since I've had an alcoholic beverage that was not wine. It may not be my favorite, but I'm not turning it down drinks with my sister and bro in law.

Friday June 28th

The Good- Vacation started today! Woo hoo! I am so excited to be out of the apartment and doing something. I've spent the majority of the last few months in the apartment in bed eating. Being on medical leave ended up putting me in a really bad place, so being on vacation is helping me get out of that place before going back to work.

The Bad- I went to Solvang last year for my bachelorette party. We went wine tasting and ended up finding a wonderful sparkling moscato that was delicious. It's $20 a bottle, but worth it. I've wanted another bottle but couldn't justify having it shipped, so I was looking forward to going back. I got a bottle, but I don't have a bottle opener with me so I can't enjoy a glass now. I must wait until I get home..

The Positive- I went to the pool tonight with the kids. I felt uncomfortable, and waited to take off my cover up until everyone else left. The more I do it the more comfortable I get.

The Workout- 55 squats

Thoughts for the Day- 

* Sitting in the sun all during lunch will result in a sunburn on day one of your vacation that hurts like a bitch. It is not a good idea to get burnt the day before you plan on going to the beach. 

That white is not a shirt under the towel.. That's how my skin should look. Aloe vera, you are my new best friend!

* Getting fish and chips at Longboards is a much better food experience than eating it at a place called Mr Fish & Chips. Reminder- 5 star ratings online cannot be trusted.

* Wine tasting is a wonderful thing. If you are ever in Solvang I highly suggest you visit Sevtap. Delicious wine, chalk board walls and an owner with the most dry and amazing sense of humor. Add good music and I'm there!

* I wish Isabel felt comfortable in the water. She panics when she's in and refuses to let go of someone. I know one day it will all just click and she'll get it, but it's difficult and frustrating right now.

* My mom is having the girls write in a journal every night while on vacation. I may keep that going when we get back home. Isabel read me her entry for today and it is so cute! She wrote about how she fed an ostrich and how I got a sunburn.

* I have taken a lot of pictures already and can't wait to take more! I love taking close ups, especially of animals or random things. I will be uploading some here when I get back home.

And The Streak Has Ended...

When I first found out about the Runner's World Running Streak I was excited to push myself to try something I didn't think I could do. I truly thought that I would run maybe a half mile that first day and over the course of the 39 day challenge I would be able to track my improvement until I could eventually run a mile straight.

But that didn't happen. I got out there that first day and ran a mile straight, and have run a mile straight every day since.

Until yesterday.

To be honest, I have both loved and hated this challenge. I am so excited that I have been able to go out there and run every single day, but the knee pain is almost not worth it. I often look forward to my run, but dread that one mile.

Yesterday just was a little too busy to have a convenient time to go. And by the time I remembered it was almost 10pm and I was already in bed. Excuses, excuses. But, it is what it is and I made it 31 days running a mile every day. That's huge for me!

I was originally going to try to make it 100 days, bringing me right up to when we start training for LA, but that just didn't happen. I'm a little disappointed, but overall I'm proud of what I did accomplish. And in all honesty, I was a little worried about how I was going to fit in running while on vacation. Now there is a little less pressure to get out there every single day.

I want to, at some point, continue to go out daily to run, however I will not be forcing myself to run a mile straight in order to call it a streak.

I will never be the type of person who can run a race from beginning to end. My body was just not built that way. So instead I will use the method I know works best for me, which is using intervals. This is my way of running and it has been proven many times to be an effective way of running. 

I think that making the streak more manageable will help in continuing my progress with it. It shouldn't be something I hate doing. I should be excited every morning to get up and run. I shouldn't have to feel like what I'm doing isn't enough. I mean, I mostly trained for LA this year only running one day a week. (I absolutely DO NOT suggest doing this!!)

The training program I used only recommended running 30-45 minutes two days a week and your long run on the weekend. I know this is meant to prevent injury, but for me, right now I actually want to go out and run more often. Whether it's one mile to keep the streak alive or five because it just felt that good to be out there or twenty-three because I'm training for a race, running is my thing right now, my other love, and I plan on doing it while I can.

Deciding to participate in this streak was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I have learned that I enjoy running daily and that I can run daily. I've learned that running a mile straight is both doable and difficult. I've learned that I can stick to something I commit to even on the hard days. I've learned that running is the one thing I can do that is just for me.

I look forward to seeing how long my streak will end up being when I restart it. I honestly don't know when that will be because I think my body may need a day or two of rest a week right now and especially during training, but who knows. We'll see what happens...

Upcoming Races

With my 2014 Running goal decided I have begun the financially draining task of signing up for races. Although affordable, it still is a hit to the bank account.

I have only been able to find races up through April as of right now, but I am going to be checking often for more races for next year so I can continue to fill my running calendar.

December 8th- Santa to the Sea half marathon
January 5th- Camarillo half marathon 
February 23rd- Seaside half marathon
March 9th- LA Marathon (registration is not open yet)
April 5th- Hollywood Half half marathon

May ?- 

June ?- Mammoth Lakes half marathon (registration not open yet)

July ?- 

August ?- Arroyo Creek half marathon (registration not open yet)

September ?- 

October ?- 

November ?- 

December ?- Santa to the Sea half marathon (registration not open yet)

It's going to be an exciting and busy running year. I know that I will be able to make it though. I just have to stick to my training schedule (sometimes easier said than done). I have to keep a positive attitude and make sure I have the right support to keep me going. I know that from past experience I have a wonderful support system.

What's even better about these races is that Rachel and I are going to be running together again. Our relationship is a pretty normal one for sisters. We get along pretty well, but we're not extremely close. Since we started running together our relationship has improved drastically and I was really enjoying our weekly running dates. It's been a while since we've been on a run together, so starting to train for Santa to the Sea and LA will hopefully mean our relationship will continue to grow.

Thursday June 27th

The Good- I had therapy tonight and was able to talk some more about my negative thoughts about my body and my self sabotage with my eating habits. It seems to make so much sense when she and I talk and I feel so stupid sometimes because it all sounds so silly when I'm talking about it. But then she leaves and my mind starts spinning with negativity and I don't know how to make it stop. It's ridiculous that I can't be happy that I went to the gym last night for 50 minutes, instead I tear myself down for only going for 50 minutes. I can't get in check with my eating because I am so focused on not seeing the results that I throw in the towel and figure that I'm still making progress with working out, so what's the point of the rest of it. I know that with continuing therapy and discussing these thoughts I will make progress with the mental part of it too, which is sometimes more difficult to deal with than the physical.

The Bad- I did not get out of bed to go to the gym this morning like I had planned. I couldn't fall asleep until after 11 last night and then woke up a few times in the middle of the night. I was not well rested and chose to listen to my body instead of push myself to go.

The Positive- My therapist advised I start two journals tonight and go for as long as I can. The first will be a notebook with a positive a day about myself. The second is a notebook with a reason a day why I love Isabel. I decided to have Patrick include one in each notebook and Isabel as well. Isabel's will be given to her when she gets a little older, possibly when she starts going through changes with her body and needs to see reasons why she's lovable. Being a girl sucks and those changes can be difficult to get through.

The Workout- 
50 squats
 
Thoughts for the Day

* When you don't fall asleep until after 11pm and then wake up multiple times throughout the night you are very unlikely to get up with your alarm and make it to the gym in the morning. Meaning that there are two options- 1. take more rest days or 2. get more sleep. Doing both would probably be the best choice.

* It is very interesting watching Isabel play sports. She is very book smart and she definitely tries her hardest, but she lacks coordination.

* I have started reading yet another book and am now in the middle of three. This one is called Running On Faith by Jason Lester and has been really good so far. My favorite part is this:

"When you make extreme-distance sports your life, it's like you have this angel sitting on your shoulder, constantly whispering, "Do something inconceivable. Set the bar higher. Take up a new challenge." Most days, you're too busy to listen, but when things quiet down you start asking yourself questions. Could I improve my split? Could I set a new personal record? Could I keep going past the point where in the past I've quit? It's about inner growth and improving discipline and mental focus. After all, the only person you ever really meet out on the course is yourself. You are your own ultimate competition; at the end of the day, you're the one you have to answer to."

* In order to not kill your plants on the patio you have spent time and money to make more "homey", you must water them or make sure your husband continues to water them. They will die if they sit out in the heat and don't get watered for days at a time.

* I'm going to miss my husband. We have not spent more than one night apart since being married and I am not looking forward to the next 4 nights without him.

* I bought a 16 pack of batteries and have 2 empty 2GB SD cards ready for our 9 day vacation. I am worried that this will not be enough. I intend to take some very artistic photos this vacation (which to me includes a lot of close ups of flowers and animals and interesting buildings, etc). There may be a trip to CVS to buy some more memory.

* Planning on taking that many pictures is ridiculous.

* I am having a really difficult time putting in the work and not seeing the results and am going to use this vacation as a way to stop thinking about what's working and what's not. We are coming back home on a Saturday and I intend on making that Sunday my day to sit down and figure it all out before starting back up with MFP that Monday. I need to remember that my body is not going to change over night and that the work I am doing is a good thing and will show eventually.

* I got an email from my new gym about a free two session meeting with a trainer. I need to look into that when I get back. Hopefully I can talk to someone about nutrition (my biggest struggle right now) and maybe make a good plan on what machines to use and for how long.

2014 Running Goal

Since 2013 is already half over and I have my running goal decided for 2015 (Dopey Challenge in January and Disneyland Half in September), I needed something for 2014, you know, other than just training..

So when my sister asked if I was planning on signing up to run the LA Marathon again next year I quickly decided to do it. Along with 11 other races through out the year. 

I am planning on signing up for one race a month for the 2014 calendar year. They will most likely all be half marathons with the exception of LA in March. 

I have never done this money races in a year and I am really excited to attempt it. Having races lines up keeps me motivated and focused and I am starting to get excited again. 

This is a great time for me to make this goal for many reasons. First of all, I am finally 100% debt free. I have paid off the rest of my debt and Patrick is finishing up with his. Once we are both out of debt we will focus more on saving for a house, but that is still a little ways off. Secondly, the races are still far enough away that I am paying the least expensive price. Races tend to raise their prices the closer you get to race day, so as long as I am paying attention to sign up dates, I won't be paying an arm and a leg. 

I'm really excited to run in a race again. The spectators, the race day experience and of course the bling are so worth it, in my opinion. Plus I have to go out with a bang!

I don't plan to stop running or stop racing entirely, but after Dopey, it would be financially wise for me to cut back to 1-3 races per year. It only makes sense to run all the races now and make it through Dopey while I can afford it. You know, before we buy a house and we're putting all of our money towards that.

Plus, I think I have decided that in order to be a surrogate I need to do it in good conscience. In order to do that then I need to be selfish now. I want to finish my running goals before I can commit my body to someone else. I know that it is selfish of me to wait to do this, but I know that if I don't take care of me first then I'm not going to be much help to anyone else, especially my own family. Thankfully I didn't get into the process too far before making this decision and I know that when the time is right to be a surrogate then it will happen.

Wednesday June 26th

The Good- I made it to the gym for the second day in a row and made plans to go again tomorrow. I will get my money's worth, even if it is only $19 a month. I am thinking once training starts on August 31st I will make it to the gym 2 days a week for cross training purposes. One day to use the stationary bike and one day to use the elliptical.

The Bad- I had intentions to go to the gym for an hour and a half tonight. By the time I got there I already started talking myself out of going for the full time planned (30 minutes treadmill, 30 minutes bike, 30 minutes elliptical). Once there I decided on 20 minutes each machine for a total time of an hour. I started on the treadmill for a total time of 25 minutes including a 5 minute cool down. Then I got on the bike and decided it was too late to do the elliptical since I still needed to do my 100 squats. So I stayed on the bike for 25 minutes and went home. That's 50 minutes. Why doesn't it feel like I did enough?

The Positive- I decided on a "schedule" to incorporate the gym into my training program. It will change week to week depending on Patrick's work schedule, but at least I have a general idea of what I want to do.

The Workout- Treadmill- 1.58 miles, 

Bike- 5.27 miles, 100 squats

Thoughts for the Day

* I got a pedicure today and felt extremely self conscious about my runners feet. I apologized to the guy and I don't know why. I'm proud of my feet!

 

* I started packing tonight. I know I'm over packing, but I'd rather have too much than not enough.

* I like American Dad. Patrick and I watch it every week night at 10pm because it is so much better than the awfulness that is the 10 o'clock news. 

 

* I can't think of anything to say. I shouldn't wait until 10:30 at night to blog about the day and instead should make notes throughout the day.

Tuesday June 25th

The Good- Patrick and I made it to the gym for just over an hour tonight. My parents, who are awesome, watched Isabel so that Patrick and I could go together. It was a bit of an adjustment for me going from running outside only for the past month to working on a few different machines including the treadmill. Patrick hasn't exercised in months, so I was really impressed when he said he would go with me and so proud of him for actually working out while he was there.

The Bad- I had to buy a larger size for my shorts today. I was pretty proud of staying in size 12 jeans. I even made the decision to clean out my closet of all size 10 and 8 pants since I was getting frustrated with the fact that they don't fit. They are put away for the day that they do fit again. I needed shorts for vacation and went to try on size 12, what I assumed would fit since my pants fit well. Different brand = same size = upset Tracy in the fitting rooms. So I tried on size 14 shorts and they fit comfortably. Disappointing? Yes. Am I going to dwell on it? No. It's one of those things that it's just a number. No one else knows or cares. And I feel comfortable in them so that's what matters. Why would I want to be uncomfortable and self conscious while wearing them when I can look good and feel good?

The Positive- I made it to the gym today and have a really positive outlook about getting there for the next few days before our vacation as well as making a weekly plan to get there AT LEAST 2 days a week while continuing to workout daily.

The Workout- 1 mile run, .5 mile walk, .5 mile intervals, 5.15 mile bike, 1.39 mile elliptical, 100 squats

Thoughts for the Day
*I know I am wearing rose colored glasses and the newness will wear off eventually, but I love the gym and I am so glad that I made the spur of the moment choice to sign up yesterday. I know that this is an expense that will benefit me (and hopefully Patrick) in the long run.

*I hate watching Angel's baseball with Patrick. He is a very glass half empty person when it comes to his "team" and he has no problem cursing at them, making fun of them and getting mad at something he has absolutely no control over. Granted they are not playing to their full potential, but still! Be a fan and support them whether they win or lose. And stop saying that they're going to blow it when they are winning 14-5 in the 9th inning!

*I may have experienced a small panic attack today. I'm not proud of it, but it happened... I dropped Isabel off at a birthday party and it was the first time that I dropped her off and then left. It was more difficult than I anticipated. I drove away feeling like I was forgetting something and then had a moment where I panicked and had the following thought process "Today I'm dropping her off for a birthday party. Pretty soon she'll be starting kindergarten and then it's only a matter of time before her first sleep over. After that she'll be driving, graduating college and then she'll leave me!" Ummm.. She's 5. And she's in the phase where she only wants me. I better hold onto every moment possible before I start getting the "I hate you!" comments every real parent eventually gets. It's a right of passage to get that, but I'm so not ready for my baby to be so grown up.

*I hate doing laundry. Hate it! It was so much nicer when I had a cast on for the one and only reason that Patrick was doing all of the laundry and the tables were turned. Now it's on me and I just cannot get motivated to finish.

*I want to clean the entire apartment before leaving for vacation. That's not going to happen if I only clean half a room and then lay in bed for most of the day...

*I need to start packing. I hate packing. Even worse than packing? Unpacking.

*We bought Patrick's ticket tonight for his flight to San Francisco. I cannot begin to express how happy I am that I get to spend the 4th of July with him and that I won't have to spend 9 days without him. We're not glued at the hip or anything, but 5 days will be more than enough time apart.

*It is just after 8pm and I still need to complete my 100 squats for the day. Why did I wait all day to do this?

Vacation!!

We are leaving for vacation on Friday!

As of right now my parents, my sister and her family and Isabel and I are going. Patrick may not be able to join us...

You see, he just found out that he has been promoted from assistant store manager to store manager, putting him in a new position at his old store two days before we leave. This puts him in a weird spot. His district manager told him that it is his choice whether he goes on vacation or not, but that when he was promoted to his position he had to miss out on family things, even the ones that he had already paid for.

So that's his dilemma that we are going to discuss to find the best solution that will make the most people happy. I know that my family won't be mad at him necessarily (even if certain things have already been paid for), but we will be disappointed that he won't be there with us.

I know it will all work out the way it's supposed to and I intend to have fun whether he's there or not, but of course it will be so much better if he was there.

We've been planning this trip for a while. My dad retired this year and about a year or so ago he told us that when he retired he would take the family on a trip anywhere in the world. My mom doesn't fly, Isabel can't go out of the country and my brother-in-law gets sea sick. This limited our choices.

But it didn't take too long for us to figure out that even though we live in California it made sense to see the beauty of the state. And so we are.

We are making our way through Santa Barbara, Solvang, Pismo Beach, San Luis Obispo and Monterey Bay making our way to our main destination of San Franscisco. We'll spend our last night in Sacramento and then head home. A 9 day trip filled with so many activities including the beach, Bubblegum Alley, Friends of the Elephant Seals, Hearst Castle, Monterey Bay Aquarium, train ride through the Redwood trees, Lombard St, The Painted Ladies, bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Fisherman's Wharf, Jelly Belly Factory, State Capitol tour and the Sacramento zoo.

Some plans may change, but for the most part it is going to be one fun filled and busy vacation. I absolutely cannot wait! My sister is such a wonderful planner and made such a great schedule filled with something for everyone. Be ready for a lot of pictures when I get back!

Monday June 24th

Since I am not tracking right now I have decided to try something different for my daily updates... Bare with me.

The Good- Patrick has officially been promoted from assistant manager to store manager. He has such an amazing work ethic that it was only a matter of time before he got the promotion that he so deserved. Thankfully the offer was more than he was anticipating and will definitely help us in the long run. Interestingly enough, I spoke with my manager this morning and she told me that she is getting the paperwork together with HR to offer me a promotion when I get back from my time off. Such great news for us financially!

The Bad- I ate fast food twice today. It was for silly reasons and shouldn't have happened. It was out of convenience and laziness and I feel like there is a brick sitting in my stomach. I should not have let this happen and am embarrassed to have been so weak twice in one day.

The Positive- I didn't want to go for my workout tonight, but ended up starting out small by walking across the street to sign up for a gym and go to the used book store with Isabel. Then after Patrick got home I went for my one mile run. Didn't get in everything planned, but considering I didn't want to do anything I think it was good to do what I did.

The Workout- 1 mile walk, 1 mile intervals, 1 mile run, 95 squats

Thoughts for the Day
*Patrick and I need to make a pro/con list about him going on our family vacation. Taking 9 days off of work right after starting at a new store is not ideal and the decision is up to him.
*Patrick and I also need to make adjustments to our budget on mint.com. Now that we are both going to be making more money we need to figure out what we can afford to put towards the rest of Patrick's debt and what we can put towards our savings accounts.
*We have a lot of savings accounts. Like a lot of them. But they all serve their purpose and it helps to see what we have in each account. Plus I like that we can "nickname" the accounts so we know what's going where and when.
*I joined a gym today. It's less than a mile from our apartment, so I will most likely walk across the street to go for my cross training (or strength training once I get comfortable using the weight lifting machines). Then again since they open at 4:30am I may end up going before work. That way I can just leave from the gym and not worry about being out running on the streets when it's still dark in the mornings. I'm excited to start incorporating other cardio as well.
*I need to start packing. Which means I need to make a list of things I need to pack. Which means I need to use the Google in order to find the best list to use to pack for our vacation.
*I'm tired, but can't seem to sleep at night. I have been waking up early to go for my run and working out and I just can't fall asleep. Very frustrating.
*Was watching Family Feud with Patrick and they asked "Name someone you wouldn't want to see at a nudest colony". There were the normal answers "Boss/Coworker" and "Parents/In-Laws". The missing answer neither family got? Fatties... I am shocked and appalled and still picking my jaw up off of the floor. Wow. Just.. Wow.

Workout Schedule

Last Weeks Workout:

Monday June 17th: Walk✔, Interval Run✔ and Streak✔, arms✔,  abs✔ (added 1 mile intervals and completed arm workout twice)

Tuesday June 18th: Walk✔, Interval Run✔ and Streak✔, 65 squats✔, arms✔, abs✔
Wednesday June 19th: Walk✔, Interval Run✔ and Streak✔, 70 squats✔, arms✔, abs✔ (added 1 mile intervals and completed both arm and ab workout twice)

Thursday June 20th: Walk✔, Interval Run✔ and Streak✔, 75 squats✔, arms✔, abs✔ (completed both arm and ab workout twice)
Friday June 21st: Walk✔, Interval Run✔ and Streak✔, 80 squats✔, arms✔, abs✔ (completed both arm and ab workout twice)

Saturday June 22th: Long Run with Streak✔, 85 squats✔, arms❌, abs❌

Sunday June 23th: Streak✔, 90 squats✔, arms❌, abs❌

 

Monday- Friday: 1 mile interval run, 1 mile run, 1 mile walk

Long Run: 3 miles intervals and 1 mile streak (total 4 miles)

I'm actually pretty impressed with myself for completing as many workouts as I did. To only have skipped arms and abs during the weekend is pretty good for me, plus I added quite a bit during the week. 

This Weeks Workout:

Monday June 24th: Walk, Interval Run and Streak, 95 squats, arms, abs

Tuesday June 25th: Walk, Interval Run and Streak, 100 squats, arms, abs
Wednesday June 26th: Walk, Interval Run and Streak, 100 squats, arms, abs

Thursday June 27th: Walk, Interval Run and Streak, 50 squats, arms, abs

Friday June 28th: Streak, 55 squats, arms, abs

Saturday June 29th: Streak, 60 squats, arms, abs

Sunday June 30th: Streak, 100 squats, arms, abs

 

Monday- Thursday: 1 mile interval run, 1 mile run, 1 mile walk

We are going on vacation this week starting Friday and I do not know how often I will have spare time to get in a workout. I plan on making the time to get in a mile every day as well as squats, abs and arms. Those three workouts can be done in the hotel and a mile run only takes me about 12 minutes. That is something I can handle while on vacation. I will feel like I'm still getting something accomplished without stressing about getting it done. If I have the extra time I will try to do more, but this is a family vacation and I really want to spend time with them. I'm not going to put too much pressure on myself though. The only two I have to do each day are the streak and squats. No pressure! Especially since we are going to be doing a lot of walking around while we're on vacation.

Since I have been pretty consistent with doing the ab and arm workout twice, I am making that the default workout. This is what I have been doing and what will be considered one set:
 

Ab workout

25 Crunches

25 Right side crunches

25 Left side crunches

10 Reverse crunches 

10 Right side leg lifts

25 Right side side crunch

10 Left side leg lifts

25 Left side side crunch

20 Donkeys each leg

25 Crunches

10 Sit ups

20 Butt raise with kick (10 each side)

10 Scissors (both sides)

10 Roll ups

10 Superman

Arm workout

10 Standing chest press

10 Kickbacks

10 Bicep curls

10 Bent over rows

10 Shoulder press

10 Front raise 

10 Lateral raise

10 Fly

20 Chest press

10 Fly

10 Lateral raise

10 Front raise

10 Shoulder raise

10 Bent over rows

10 Bicep curls

10 Kickbacks 

10 Standing chest press

Putting the Scale Away

I had a productive therapy session last week. I talked to her about my irrational mood changes after standing on the scale and my frustrations with my body.

I decided to take her advice and put the scale away. To hide it and only weigh in once a month along with taking measurements. She suggested this tactic so that if I do gain at least there could be a difference in my measurements so that I can see some form of progress. 

I am putting too much emphasis on my weight and not enough focus on what I am doing on a daily basis. I am still too focused on the things I did wrong each day and not being proud of the things I got right. That should really be the only thing I look at. 

I am going to weigh in today and track my weight as well as retake my measurements. I am going to start tracking again when we get back from vacation, but I will only be weighing and taking my measurements once a month, on the 24th of each month. 

I used a photo from pinterest as motivation to write on my scale. A visual reminder that I am not what that number says. 

Motivation: 

My scale:

I am most likely going to be asking Patrick to hide the scale. If it's not out for me to see on a day to day basis then I feel like I will be less likely to cheat and look at the scale. When it is time to check my weight then I will see what I have written and hopefully remember that it's just a way to track progress and nothing else.  

It can't hurt to try it for a month or so. If I find myself slipping with eating, exercising and tracking then I may go back to weekly weigh-ins. I'm going to play it by ear and see what I am capable of. It may be the best thing for me to put the scale away.. You never know if you don't try.

All I do know is that for this month I will be working on my relationship with me.

Last weeks weight: 184.4

This weeks weight: 185.2

+/-: +0.8

Total +/-: +0.8

Measurements: 

Arm (L)- 

last month- 13"

this month- 12.75"

Difference- -.25"

Thigh (L)- 

last month- 26.25"

this month- 26.25"

Difference- 0"

Bust- 

last month- 40" 

this month- 40"

Difference- 0"

Waist- 

last month- 36" 

this month- 35.25"

Difference- -.75"

Hips- 

last month- 44.5" 

this month- 44.25"

Difference- -.25"

BMI- 

last month- 27.2= overweight

this month- 27.3= overweight

Difference- +0.1

 

Thoughts: Where do I begin? Let's start with the weight... I am now at my heighest ever adult weight (other than when I was pregnant). Here are the emotions I've already felt in the past 15 minutes regarding the scale and myself: anger, frustration, disgust, sadness and indifference. 

What was I honestly expecting the scale to say? I haven't been eating well and I haven't been tracking. There's really no wonder the scale is up. And if I'm being honest, I'm a little surprised it's not up higher than it is. 

The reason I'm feeling indifferent about the scale is because I took the time to read what I wrote on it. I am not that number. No one else knows what that number is unless I choose to tell them. I have been told by many people who know my weight that I carry it well and they would have never thought I would weigh what I do. 

And I finally looked up a chart that shows a healthy weight range for height and body frame (small, medium or large). According to the scale, I am only 15.2 pounds over a healthy weight, not the 21.4 pounds I thought last week. Granted, 170 is not my goal weight, but at least it would be a closer goal to set for myself that doesn't seem so far out of reach.

Taking my measurements helped as well. Especially since they either stayed the same or went down. Nothing drastic, but at least progress in the right direction.

Of course my initial thought was "I must not be measuring in the same place", but I was and I was happy to see that I am losing inches even if I'm gaining weight. 

I am not concerned about my thighs not losing inches. Yes, I thought they would with all the running I've been doing and with all of the squats, but I can feel a difference. They feel like they are becoming more toned and there is a difference even if they are still 26.25". There's still work to be done, but I'm happy with what my thighs have been able to do.

I am hoping that next month shows progress as well and I intend on doing the work in order to see that progress. I'm only going to get out of it what I put into it..

I decided to work on my self appreciation by writing one positive about myself a day. It makes me think of the good things at the end of each day and then I can see the list at the end of the week to boost my self-esteem.

 

I chose to list them with my weigh in because I know that there will be times that the weigh-in does not go the way I had hoped. I would like to say honestly that the number won't affect me, but it does, so listing my positives will make me focus on that instead of what the scale says. 

 

Positives:

1. I ended up binging on veggie chips. I have to look at this in a positive way because it could have been a lot worse. A lot worse...

2. I am allowing myself to be proud of my running accomplishments as well as putting it out there to brag about.  

3. I wore my HRM for the first time in months and am going to make it a habit to accurately track my calories burned instead of guesstimating.

4. I am taking pride in my running accomplishments instead of passing them off like they are nothing. I'm not going to walk around telling everyone, but it's about time I actually realize that I have done something that's pretty cool and something that not a lot of people have done.

5. I ate a filling lunch so that I wouldn't snack throughout the day before going to dinner with my parents and my in-laws. It was healthy, nutritious and delicious!

6. I bought running shorts. Shorts! I tend to stick with 3/4 pants or full length pants for my runs, but since the whether is getting warmer it is time to stop worrying about what my thighs look like and start focusing on the run.

7. I wrote on my scale so that I can remind myself that it doesn't matter what it says and as a visual reminder to stay off of it for the entire month.

Weekend Update

I didn't post last night for a few reasons. I didn't get to bed until pretty late and just did not have the physical energy to get out of bed to get the computer and I didn't have the mental energy to think about something to say.

I have found myself eating more, not tracking and not caring. That's not a good place to be mentally. I know myself and I know that I'm falling off of the wagon. 

Putting forth effort to make changes to your body takes a lot. Mentally, emotionally, physically, financially.. It takes dedication and it is exhausting. When those efforts don't show any progress then it can be very easy to just walk away and quit.   

I don't want to quit. I don't want to give up. I know that I am making positive changes whether I can measure the progress or not, but it's getting over the mental part that is messing me up and I can't seem to get past that.

We are leaving for vacation next Friday. Vacations for my family includes a lot of eating, and this trip we have decided to try to avoid chain restaurants. This means the nutritional information will be limited. 

I also feel as though I may get push back for being on my phone tracking calories. My family tends to think I get obsessed when I am tracking points or calories. I can agree to a point, but I feel as though my obsession is better to be considered dedication.

I truly believe that if I am conscious of what I'm eating, make good choices, eat healthy portions and enjoy myself then I will be successful no matter what. Plus, being on vacation and going to new restaurants means that it is okay to splurge a little. Not every meal and not every day, but occasionally.

My goal while on vacation is to continue my running streak and continue my squat challenge. All other exercise will be considered a bonus. 

And when I get back I want to dive back in full force. I want to increase my exercise and focus on my eating. I need to have more self discipline when it comes to eating. I can only succeed if I allow myself to.

I think that a fresh start is needed and am looking forward to that start when we get back. 

As for this weekend... Saturday started off early with my scheduled 4 mile run. I went to pick up Isabel at my parents and my mom and I found ourselves out running errands at Kohl's. She is the best shopping partner because she will give you her honest opinion, but she does it in a way that doesn't hurt your feelings.

I ended up getting a nice long sleeve gray shirt, a black long sleeve running shirt, new beach/pool towels and a pair of walking shoes. 

I have been putting a lot of miles on my running shoes and will need to replace them soon. Once I go back to work I am hoping to get back into my walking routine (a short walk on my break and a long walk on my lunch). This will quickly add up a lot of miles and I'd rather not do that to my running shoes that need to last me while longer. They were on sale and it was an easy decision. 

This morning also started early. I met my mom at her house to go to the monthly swap meet we shop at. It has become our new favorite swap meet and we have both found great deals every single time we've gone. Last month I found a great three tiered corner shelf that is on our balcony as a plant stand for $10. Today I found a planter (with a plant), 3 old tins (in red, white and blue) that I plan on plating and putting out on my patio, a cute bird house, a hanging plant holder for our dining room (that I will put a pot in and "plant" with silk flowers), and a bench. I may end up reupholstering it or possibly taking the seat off and doing mosaic on it and using it as another bench for my plants an flowers. So many options!

We had dinner at my sister's tonight to go over our vacation plans. I am so excited for this vacation! We have so many fun things planned that I am really looking forward to. More on that later, though..

All in all, a good weekend. Not food wise, but everything else was absolutely wonderful! And that's what I'm going to focus on.

Running Recap

It took me a little longer than I care to admit to get out of bed this morning. The idea of getting up early every single morning to run is not one I like to think about. So it's a simple solution.. Don't think, just do! 

If I set my workout clothes out the night before or even if I wear them to bed, I am more likely to get up after hitting snooze once or twice (or miraculously yesterday, not at all). Today I laid in bed for a whole hour before turning off the alarm and getting ready for my run. 

Patrick was up and out the door headed for work long before my alarm went off and since my parents are amazing and supportive, Isabel spent the night so that I could get in my run bright and early instead of waiting until Patrick got home tonight. I enjoyed the quiet apartment before leaving for my scheduled 4 mile run.

A little before the halfway mark I had to decide whether I was going to keep going or turn around and go home. I take this route often enough to know where certain points are, like distance markers... and dogs... 

Just before the halfway point is a house. Their backyard has two horse stalls and I have been able to pet one of the horses a couple times since it's so close to the pathway. They also have two dogs. They're small, but they're loud and I have been scared more than once when running by this house. Not enough to stop running, but enough to be aware.

Today was different though. As I approached the house I could see and hear the dogs. But instead of coming to the fence and barking at me, the smallest of the two found a spot in the fence that he could get out of. He barked, he growled, he bared his teeth and he followed me down the path.

I walked backwards, facing him the entire time, and I walked down the path so as not to upset him by running away. I yelled at him to go home. He eventually lost interest the further away I got from his home, but I have never been so frightened. I don't think I was so much frightened of the dog, I was frightened because I didn't know how to handle the situation. Time to start reading up on more safety tips!

The rest of the run was uneventful. I thankfully had my GPS watch on, so I didn't take the rest of my planned run since it would bring me by the dog three more times. I kept running, but I took a different course.

My hopes for today were to finish each of the first three miles under 14 minutes and then run the last mile to continue my streak. And... I did it!!!

So my plan is to run my future runs using 45:1 intervals. I will continue using the 45:1 intervals until we start training for LA. Since Rachel and I are training and running the race together we will be using 30:1 per her request. But all other runs will be at the higher intervals.

Total distance: 4.34

Total time: 58:12

Mile 1- 13:57

Mile 2- 13:50

Mile 3- 13:54

Mile 4 (streak)- 11:37

Mile 0.34- 4:52

Friday June 21st

Not a lot happened today that is of much interest...

I went for my run, completed the 80 squats scheduled for today, went through my arm workout twice and my ab workout twice. I think I'm doing something wrong though. I'm not sore. My thighs aren't sore, my arms aren't sore and my abs aren't sore. I'm either not doing it right or I'm not doing enough reps or not enough weight. I am consistently doing about 45 minutes of cardio followed by almost a half hour of strength training (arms, abs and squats). I know it is doing something, but I hear about people doing a workout and barely being able to lift their arms or laugh or sit. I want that soreness!

My workouts may need to get more intense in the coming weeks. Most likely after our vacation next week.

I cleaned the apartment today. And it already looks like a tornado ran through it. I call that tornado the children... But it at least looked somewhat decent for an hour or so.

And we got our new (used) couches today. They look wonderful and I am excited about the simple fact that they match. Who knew that something so simple could make me so happy. We dipped into our house savings for them, but we couldn't pass up the price for the couch/love seat set and since the couches will come with us when we eventually move into a house it was worth it.

Our small apartment is becoming more and more like home and it makes it more comfortable to call it our home and to realize that we will be here for awhile. Not ideal, but manageable and affordable and right now that's what we need.

My GPS watch died as soon as I pressed start this morning because I forgot to charge it last night. I ran the exact same course as yesterday so I knew the distance, but I don't know the times per mile. It felt slower than normal, but my body felt better at whatever speed I was at. I also made it out the door earlier than normal, which was due to the fact that Patrick had to be up early and I needed to make it back to be home with the kids.

I'm going to try to start getting up earlier and earlier each day so that my body doesn't go into complete shock when I start going back to work at the beginning of July. I would like to continue my early morning runs, which means that in order to be at work by 7:30am, I will need to get up around 5:30 to get in a 45 or so minute run, shower, get dressed and put on my makeup (something I very rarely do, but would like to get into the habit of doing). It's going to be difficult at first, but I think it's something I can easily get in the habit of doing. I mean, getting up at 7ish for the past week hasn't been easy, but it is slowly becoming a routine.

Friday June 21st:
Goal: 1540
Food: 2224
Exercise: -749
Net: 1475

Breakfast:
Whole wheat waffles, peanut butter, coffee, creamer, splenda
Calories: 327

Lunch:
Parmesan crusted chicken breast, 2 hard boiled eggs, grapes, cranberry walnut salad
Calories: 706
Dinner:
Tri Tip, Mac & Cheese, breadstick, tri-tip salad
Calories: 945

Dessert:
Golden spoon yogurt, candy cane Hershey kisses
Calories: 247

Exercise:
1 mile intervals, 1 mile run, 1 mile walk, 80 squats, arm workout x2, ab workout x2
Calories: -749

Positive: I ate a filling lunch so that I wouldn't snack throughout the day before going to dinner with my parents and my in-laws. It was healthy, nutritious and delicious!

Running Gadgets and Gear

It is not very often that I buy myself an expensive present. I have no issue buying stuff for other people, or even the occasional shopping "spree". But ask me to spend $100 or more on myself on a single item and it takes me a very long internal debate as to whether or not I should.

It took me over a year and a half to be fitted properly for running shoes because I could not imagine spending that much money on a pair of shoes...

I received my current running shoes as a gift from my parents 12 days before this years LA Marathon. It was a necessity at that time. Either get new shoes or drop out of the marathon. And quitting was not an option. So my parents took me to the shoe store and I was fitted and I will never go back to trying to save money on running shoes by buying them at Kohl's or any other department store. A good pair of shoes can make or break you.

There are certain other running accessories that are necessary. I have a drawer in my dresser for running pants. A drawer of running shirts. And a drawer full of sports bras and knee high socks. Then I have a night stand that has a drawer that has my fuel, my fuel belt with water bottles, gloves and ear warmers (for the cold days).

The best gift I've ever received for running (besides my current pair of shoes) is the heart rate monitor Patrick bought me for Christmas a couple years ago. I love it and don't need to guesstimate how many calories I'm burning during each workout. I just need to replace the battery in the watch, but it has been well loved.

That brings me to the best gift I bought myself...

That would have to be, 100%, my GPS watch. No doubt about it. It was so worth the money I spent on it and the time I waited to get it (including multiple canceled orders for various reasons- mostly Amazon running out of the product). My main question I asked myself before I bought it was "will you use it?" And the answer was yes. And I do use it. All the time. It is by far the best thing I own, with a close second being my interval timer (but that was a no brainer and very inexpensive). The interval timer is a very convenient way to run intervals without having to look down at my watch. It's easy and I like easy!

I will say that I find myself enjoying a run so much more when I am running "naked". I highly enjoy using my GPS watch and interval timer. I love knowing the distance I have gone. I love knowing the speed I'm going. I love knowing how fast my mile is. I love being able to keep track of my progress. But, there is something about going out for a run and just running based on how you feel.

I usually run "naked" when I am just going for my 1 mile streak run. I know the distance from my front door and back that brings the distance to 1.18 miles. I know where to start running and I know where to turn around. I don't worry about how fast or how slow I'm going. All I have to do is just keep my feet moving.

The last running product I have that I would recommend are running books and especially a training log. I have recently added to my running book library and am starting to read more and more about running (more on that later). I don't think my training log is quite what it should be.

I haven't really added much more information other than 1) the date 2) daily miles 3) total miles (which also serves as total saved) 4) squats completed for the day (which will turn into the next workout I start up after the squat challenge is over) 5) streak day # (I have written the streak # I'm on every 5 days). I know some runner's write down thoughts and feelings about a run, but I'm not really there yet (I just bring all of that here). I personally enjoy updating my training log after a run. It helps me see where I'm at and I take pride when I see myself reach certain milestones.

Thursday June 20th

I started today the same way I have for about a week, by pressing snooze and having an internal debate about whether or not I should get up and go for my run. And like every morning for about a week I ended up getting up and going.

My calf was cramping up a lot today so I took it nice and easy and didn't worry about how long it would take me. Funny thing is, my interval mile was under 14 minutes. 

Today also marks the 25th day in a row that I have gone out and run. Such a difference in myself. Maybe not as much physically as I'd like, but more so mentally. 

Isabel and I joined my parents at the weekly farmer's market. We still haven't bought any fresh fruits or veggies, but we are greatly enjoying our plants on the patio. It makes it such a nice place to sit in the morning with a cup of coffee or in the evenings with a book.

Tonight we celebrated my sister's mother-in-laws birthday, enjoying sushi for dinner. We are a very lucky family.. My sister and I not only picked wonderful men to marry, but their families are wonderful as well. Not many people like to spend time with their in-laws, but we do and often times we all get together for special occasions. 

I tried out a new skirt tonight. I of course didn't think it looked very good (making my rear side look bigger than it is) but I flaunted it and am using the classic saying " fake it til you make it!" 

Dinner was amazing. If for nothing other than the fact that I LOVE SUSHI! But there were many other reasons to having such a wonderful dinner with such amazing people.

 

The most amazing of them being my mom, who went with me to get my tattoo tonight. I decided to get it now so that there will be enough time between now and when I decide on a surrogate agency. I really do want to be in a healthy weight range before I commit to this and I know that being in a healthy weight range is still another 20 pounds away. If I'm going to do it the healthy weight, then it's going to take awhile.

 

So I chose to do this for me. To celebrate my past running accomplishments and my future running goals. Running is such a huge part of my life and will forever be a time that I want to remember. I am finally allowing myself to be proud of what I have done. And it is to forever be a part of who I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My menu sucked today. Like really sucked, even though I had 59 calories left over for the day. I got bored and when I get bored I eat. And so I ate, and ate and ate. I hope I learn better eating habits one day.

 

Thursday June 20th:
Goal: 1540
Food: 2278
Exercise: -797
Net: 1481

Breakfast:
Flips Greek yogurt
Calories: 160

Lunch:
Frozen pizza
Calories: 388

Snack:Dreyer's fruit bar, triscuit, cookies, kettle corn, captain crunch, gushers
Calories: 1230

Dinner:
Sushi- rainbow roll, eel sushi
Calories: 500

Exercise:
1 mile intervals, 1 mile run, 1 mile walk, 75 squats, arm workout x2, ab workout x2
Calories: -797

Positive: I am taking pride in my running accomplishments instead of passing them off like they are nothing. I'm not going to walk around telling everyone, but it's about time I actually realize that I have done something that's pretty cool and something that not a lot of people have done.