I think it's about time that I start being honest with myself.
As much as I have changed for the betting since getting rid of the scale I have noticed that my working out has decreased and my eating habits have gotten worse. I was mentally prepared for something like this to happen because realistically I have nothing holding me accountable.
I am going to be doing some spending today on a couple of books that will help me understand intuitive eating better. Intuitive Eating and The Body Image Workbook. I feel as though I am in need of some guidance because there is too much going on. I feel better about my body, but in that same sense I am allowing myself to go overboard when it comes to food and skipping workouts.
I feel as though I don't want to necessarily track calories or points by using My Fitness Pal and Weight Watchers. For me it gets too frustrating and confusing when I start factoring in the calories I burn and how many I should be eating back. However, I do think that I need to have some form of accountability when it comes to what I am putting into my body.
So I will be starting to post daily menu's here. I am not concerning myself with anything other than the time I ate and what I ate. No calorie details.
7am: Coffee, 2 Tbsp Coffeemate Peppermint Mocha creamer, 3 splenda
815am: 1 cup Honey Nut Cheerio's, 1 cup fat free milk, 1 banana
1030am: apple, string cheese, Oikos Greek yogurt- lemon meringue
1215pm: fat free tuna salad with crackers, deli fresh lunch meat, baby carrots
145pm: granola bar
330pm: coconut water, Luna chocolate peppermint bar
630pm: Fire Island Grill- Pineapple Chicken Sandwich with fresh fruit
8pm: glass of wine
cardio workout: 1.33 mile walk, 2.07 mile walk, 4.23 mile interval run
strength training:
2 sets of 15
squat & press
dead weight/chest row
squat/kettle bell swing
chair/reverse fly
static lunge with bicep curl
squat/dumb bell row
crunches
reverse crunches
left side crunches
right side crunches
Showing posts with label Strength Training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Strength Training. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Monday, September 9, 2013
One Month Scale Free
It has been exactly one month since I have stepped on a scale.
I haven't really thought much about it and for some reason decided to look back to when I wrote my post regarding getting rid of the scale. It was on August 10th and I had weighed myself the day before. It was the last time I stepped on a scale and I have not looked back since.
I know that this way of thinking is not recommended for everyone, and I am in no way suggesting that other people do what I did, but I cannot believe the transformation I have made internally in such a short amount of time.
I decided to get rid of the scale because it was literally taking over my life. I had talked about it in therapy but was not finding what I needed in regards to figuring out why it was such a huge factor in measuring success. I cannot recall a time in my childhood that I was overweight or that weight was an issue. I was the smallest in my family weight wise and never thought anything of it. It wasn't until I was older that I started to really hear my mom talk negatively about herself. There are a few moments that I could pinpoint, but nothing drastic that should send me into a tailspin of self hatred.
But I was heading towards rock bottom in regards to the negativity I spoke about myself. I would say something awful in my head and then believe it until I spoke it aloud. Then I would hate myself even more. Poor Patrick had to deal with my waves of emotions when it came to my body and self image and was constantly trying to pick me up while I overtook his efforts and tore myself back down.
What's worse is that I said these things in front of Isabel. My worst fear as a parent is that my daughter will grow up with these negative body images. I know that it will more than likely happen, but I'm supposed to be the one to protect her, not teach her these behaviors.
When I realized that it was the scale that brought me down more than anything I decided to quit using it as a tool to measure success. It's not the only way to see the progress you are making and yet I was allowing that number to be the end all be all.
It was draining thinking about weighing in. It was draining feeling so great one minute and then so down the next all because there wasn't progress or it wasn't enough or worst of all I had gained. There were way too many factors that were affecting the scale and it was just, well, overwhelming.
I couldn't continue to justify gains. I had worked out and done strength training, gain. I had a lot of sodium, gain. It was that time of the month, gain. It was a full moon, gain. I just got out of the shower and my hair is wet, gain. The scale is not positioned in the correct location, gain.
Mind games.
In this past month I have used measurements as a way to track changes in my body. This past month I gained an inch in my waist, stayed the same in my hips and ended up losing in my arms, thighs and bust. I didn't spiral out of control when I saw that I had gained an inch. It was an amazing change to how I would have reacted weekly (or multiple times a week depending on how often I stepped on the scale) when I weighed in.
I asked Patrick the other night if he could tell a difference in my attitude towards myself and he said yes, with excitement. I feel as though he no longer has to pick me up when I hit the bottom. He no longer has to pry the food from my hands when I go overboard. He no longer has to constantly compliment me in order to keep my spirits up and the voices in my head at bay (although the compliments don't have to stop.. Hint Hint).
I did also ask him if he could tell a difference in my body. I didn't really want to ask the question because in all honesty he sees me every day and most likely will not notice a small difference the way I would, but alas my old habit did sneak back in. I didn't really get the answer I had hoped for. But I didn't freak out. I didn't try to justify his answer and point out the changes I could see until he agreed with me. Instead I took his answer for what it was, the truth of what he could see.
I can see a difference in my body. I am appreciating it more. I am looking at it from a whole different perspective. I am enjoying what I'm eating. I am enjoying what I'm wearing. I am enjoying working out. I am enjoying the changes that are occurring. I am enjoying the freedom that I have right now. I am not stressed about food. I am not stressed about weight. I am not stressed about calories or points. I am just feeling genuinely happy.
I am going to believe that these changes are because I no longer own a scale. That is the only thing that has changed. I no longer track my food because it was getting too complicated trying to find the balance of how many calories to eat back. I find that if I eat when I am hungry and eat the healthiest choices I can while still enjoying the unhealthy foods every once in a while then I don't feel deprived and actually find that my body is improving.
I don't know what I way and I don't have any desire to. I'm going to keep running, keep eating well, keep strength training and keep losing inches. Some months will be better than others. Some days will be awesome some won't. As long as I keep trying and keep improving health wise and as a person over all then I feel like I am doing something right.
I just feel like I'm exactly where I need to be. I'm not stressing and I am enjoying life. And my body freaking rocks!!
I haven't really thought much about it and for some reason decided to look back to when I wrote my post regarding getting rid of the scale. It was on August 10th and I had weighed myself the day before. It was the last time I stepped on a scale and I have not looked back since.
I know that this way of thinking is not recommended for everyone, and I am in no way suggesting that other people do what I did, but I cannot believe the transformation I have made internally in such a short amount of time.
I decided to get rid of the scale because it was literally taking over my life. I had talked about it in therapy but was not finding what I needed in regards to figuring out why it was such a huge factor in measuring success. I cannot recall a time in my childhood that I was overweight or that weight was an issue. I was the smallest in my family weight wise and never thought anything of it. It wasn't until I was older that I started to really hear my mom talk negatively about herself. There are a few moments that I could pinpoint, but nothing drastic that should send me into a tailspin of self hatred.
But I was heading towards rock bottom in regards to the negativity I spoke about myself. I would say something awful in my head and then believe it until I spoke it aloud. Then I would hate myself even more. Poor Patrick had to deal with my waves of emotions when it came to my body and self image and was constantly trying to pick me up while I overtook his efforts and tore myself back down.
What's worse is that I said these things in front of Isabel. My worst fear as a parent is that my daughter will grow up with these negative body images. I know that it will more than likely happen, but I'm supposed to be the one to protect her, not teach her these behaviors.
When I realized that it was the scale that brought me down more than anything I decided to quit using it as a tool to measure success. It's not the only way to see the progress you are making and yet I was allowing that number to be the end all be all.
It was draining thinking about weighing in. It was draining feeling so great one minute and then so down the next all because there wasn't progress or it wasn't enough or worst of all I had gained. There were way too many factors that were affecting the scale and it was just, well, overwhelming.
I couldn't continue to justify gains. I had worked out and done strength training, gain. I had a lot of sodium, gain. It was that time of the month, gain. It was a full moon, gain. I just got out of the shower and my hair is wet, gain. The scale is not positioned in the correct location, gain.
Mind games.
In this past month I have used measurements as a way to track changes in my body. This past month I gained an inch in my waist, stayed the same in my hips and ended up losing in my arms, thighs and bust. I didn't spiral out of control when I saw that I had gained an inch. It was an amazing change to how I would have reacted weekly (or multiple times a week depending on how often I stepped on the scale) when I weighed in.
I asked Patrick the other night if he could tell a difference in my attitude towards myself and he said yes, with excitement. I feel as though he no longer has to pick me up when I hit the bottom. He no longer has to pry the food from my hands when I go overboard. He no longer has to constantly compliment me in order to keep my spirits up and the voices in my head at bay (although the compliments don't have to stop.. Hint Hint).
I did also ask him if he could tell a difference in my body. I didn't really want to ask the question because in all honesty he sees me every day and most likely will not notice a small difference the way I would, but alas my old habit did sneak back in. I didn't really get the answer I had hoped for. But I didn't freak out. I didn't try to justify his answer and point out the changes I could see until he agreed with me. Instead I took his answer for what it was, the truth of what he could see.
I can see a difference in my body. I am appreciating it more. I am looking at it from a whole different perspective. I am enjoying what I'm eating. I am enjoying what I'm wearing. I am enjoying working out. I am enjoying the changes that are occurring. I am enjoying the freedom that I have right now. I am not stressed about food. I am not stressed about weight. I am not stressed about calories or points. I am just feeling genuinely happy.
I am going to believe that these changes are because I no longer own a scale. That is the only thing that has changed. I no longer track my food because it was getting too complicated trying to find the balance of how many calories to eat back. I find that if I eat when I am hungry and eat the healthiest choices I can while still enjoying the unhealthy foods every once in a while then I don't feel deprived and actually find that my body is improving.
I don't know what I way and I don't have any desire to. I'm going to keep running, keep eating well, keep strength training and keep losing inches. Some months will be better than others. Some days will be awesome some won't. As long as I keep trying and keep improving health wise and as a person over all then I feel like I am doing something right.
I just feel like I'm exactly where I need to be. I'm not stressing and I am enjoying life. And my body freaking rocks!!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
September 1, 2013
*This post was supposed to be published on September 1st, however I spent the evening in the hospital with my husband and found blogging to be the last thing on my mind. So, it's a little late, but I think it still applies.
Another month has begun and that of course means a time to start over (if needed) and make goals for the month. I posted one of my September goals yesterday, but there is a lot more that I would like to accomplish this month.
Although running and fitness are my top priority right now I know that I can't just make changes in that area of my life and expect to see changes. I have spent too much of the last month working out and then erasing any progress by eating whatever I want. I'm not really in a place right now where I want to track calories or points, so I am going to be trying Intuitive Eating.
Another month has begun and that of course means a time to start over (if needed) and make goals for the month. I posted one of my September goals yesterday, but there is a lot more that I would like to accomplish this month.
Although running and fitness are my top priority right now I know that I can't just make changes in that area of my life and expect to see changes. I have spent too much of the last month working out and then erasing any progress by eating whatever I want. I'm not really in a place right now where I want to track calories or points, so I am going to be trying Intuitive Eating.
I feel like this is something manageable that, if I work at it, I can handle doing for the rest of my life. I think the reason that this type of life style will work for me is because of the amount of running I'm going to be doing. I get confused easily with the calories in/calories out and I think that if I just focus on if I'm hungry or not, what I'm eating, and stopping when I'm satisfied that I could still see a change without stressing or obsessing over calories.
We'll see how it works and if I find that it's not then I can make adjustments along the way.
I find that as I add in strength training I am finding less negativity when it comes to my body. Yes, there are still the comments I make about myself that are not kind and I am still working on that, but for the most part I have seen a change and I am really happy with the progress I've made. All from putting the scale away and working out.
This month my goal for working out is to run at least 3 days a week, go to the gym at least 2 days a week and strength train at least 3 days a week. Any day. No strict workout schedule. No strict amount of time. Just get some strength training and running in. It feels good to be flexible.
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