Thursday Thoughts

Thankful Thursday:

Five things I am thankful for about myself

1. I am thankful that I allow myself to adjust to my wants and needs. My weigh loss/fitness/eating goals and habits change often. One week I am at the gym 6 days and counting calories while the next week I am eating what I want and not going to the gym at all. I have learned that it's okay to do what's right for me in the moment and to just make the best choices with the information I have at hand. Right now, for example, I'm trying to eat healthier options and to stop eating when I am satisfied while working out 3-5 days a week (sometimes twice a day if need be). It's what's working for me right now while balancing family, work and my health goals.
2. I am thankful that I am interested in improving my health. It would be way to easy for me to say F it and just give up, eat all the things and never workout. I've done that on a few occasions and I realized that it doesn't make me happy to eat whatever I want. I makes me happy to feel good about myself and to not feel sluggish or sick to my stomach more often than not. I may not ever have my "ideal" body (whatever that may be) but I can feel good about myself at whatever size as long as I am doing the right things.
3. I am thankful that I enjoy my job and that I do a good job doing it. It may not be the job that I always dreamed of having growing up, but it is the next best thing. I love working at a desk in front of a computer and basically doing data entry. There's more to my job then that, but it sums it up easily... I am a quick learner and am thankful for the opportunity to be in a field that I had no experience in and that I had a chance to grow in. I may not make as much money as I'd like (or think I deserve), but it's a good job and I've been here for almost 3 years.
4. I am thankful that I have a fairly good handle on our finances. I have really been enjoying being the one to manage our money and I think that I'm doing a decent job at it. So far we have been able to put extra money into our house savings (not much, but some and right now every little bit counts). I have never been the type of person to want a lot, but I have always looked forward to being comfortable. I have been known to have a hate/hate relationship with money and now that we are combined it is a lot different. I balanced our checkbook after payday and realized that we would actually have some money left over and have been impatiently waiting for the bills to come so I can pay them. That's not like me at all and I like this me a lot better when it comes to money.
5. I am thankful that I can look in the mirror and point out positives in my body. Not every time, but more often than before so that's been a nice change of pace. I don't always see or feel the need to point out the negatives I see, but instead I can look and occasionally point out my stomach and see that it is slimming down, or my thighs and see that they too are becoming stronger. It's a huge step in the right direction.

Five things I am thankful for in life

1. I am thankful that my parents let me run before I pick up Isabel from their house. Some nights I have to fit in a workout where I can and in order to train properly I need to fit in two weekday runs that last anywhere from 30-45 minutes. Some nights I am able to get out there and go for the full 45 minutes, but other nights I can only do a quick run. I'm usually okay with that (especially with the hot weather we have been experiencing) but sometimes it doesn't seem worth it to go any less than 3 miles. Regardless, I do have to get in the minimum amount of time per week because it helps tremendously on the weekend long distance training run. This week I've had to run on the nights that Patrick has had to close at work, meaning I have to run before I pick up Isabel. They are very easy going and know that it's important to me, so they don't have a problem letting me run first.
2. I am thankful that my parents started a savings account for me to go to college. It didn't stop me from applying for scholarships through my high school and it didn't stop me from dropping classes. I made stupid choices, but I still went to college and got my AA. I so wish I wouldn't have screwed around and would have gone onto a 4-year college to get a BS and who knows where I would be if I had done that, but then again I'm happy where I am now. The point of this is that my parents were able to help me go to college and I will be grateful to them for that. In doing so I knew that I wanted to be able to help my children go to college as well and even though I probably won't be able to pay for the whole thing like they did I will be able to help and I love that. Isabel has had an account since birth and my step children's accounts were started about a year before Patrick and I got married.
3. I am thankful that I am getting healthy and trying to get my eating habits under control now. I know a lot of people tend to have a specific date or occasion in mind to motivate them to lose weight: summer, a reunion, a wedding, etc. For me it's the holiday's. I want to get into the habit of eating well and listening to my hunger signals now so that when Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas come around I will be able to enjoy myself but not regret any of my food decisions.
4. I am thankful that my husband appreciates me. I am fully aware that I have a lot of improving to do as a person, as a mother and especially as a wife but I am trying. I need to learn patience when it comes to my marriage. I feel as though I have patience for other areas of my life including Isabel and work, but when it comes to him I am quick to get upset. That's not fair to him. We both have improvements to do and we are working on that together. I am just grateful that when I do things to help (like clean the entire apartment while he's at work or make dinner- which if you knew me is HUGE) he is thankful and takes the time to tell me how much he appreciates it.
5. I am thankful that we are planning on having a garage sale. It is difficult to part with some things (like my size 8 jeans) but it's important to clear out the unnecessary stuff that we don't use and don't need. It's going to be really nice to have space for the things we do want and need as well as some extra money that will be used for our house savings and for getting Patrick out of debt (he is so close!). I am also going to be going through Isabel's stuff and getting rid of some of her things because she has a ridiculous amount of stuff. All of the money she makes from her items will go into her college savings account.

Throwback Thursday:
I think it's going to take me a little while to get used to posting pictures of myself from the past. I feel a little weird doing it, but there are not a lot of pictures of myself from the past five years and that's kind of something I regret. So I'm going to put them out there from all phases of the past few years. From my highest weight when I was nine months pregnant and the yo yo weights from then to now. I don't know how many pictures I actually have, but I think it will be good to come to terms with my past in order to accept who I am now.

It's been one hell of a journey and I am ready to see myself, maybe the way others saw me. Again, I don't know how many pictures there are of me since I'm usually the one behind the camera. I'm going to do my best to pick pictures that show my body since this is a weight loss/fitness blog (or at least it's supposed to be).

My photo CDs are in no particular order (an ongoing organizing task I have yet to find time or money to do). Since they are not in any order, the photo's I post weekly will also not be in any particular order. I will do my best to include a year, but most pictures will be from March 2008-present as that is when I started saving my pictures onto discs.

May 2012- Open House at our Wedding Venue

We were invited to come to our wedding venue to taste food and to see the location all done up. I was in the process of losing weight for the wedding and from the pictures I think I look great. Of course at that time I was still too big.

That was a fun evening. Both of our mom's came with us as well as my best friend. It was there that I realized they stole my idea to do s'mores for dessert (our wedding favor) and I attempted to get something for free but failed. We were the first couple to have a fire pit and roast marshmallows for s'mores at the venue. What can I say? I'm full of great ideas and I truly believe I threw a great wedding.

Workout Plan

I wasn't planning on having a set workout schedule for next week, and in all honesty I'm not sure if I will stick with this, but I had an idea and I'd like to test it out.

I do not plan on doing this every day and I'm not even sure if this will do anything in regards to changes in my body, but it is a lot more strength training than I was doing. In fact, I wasn't doing any strength training before, focusing all on cardio. Since I'm not going to concern myself with the bike and elliptical miles for now (instead I will use them as cross training so I can focus more on running).

I'm still not quite ready to use the weight machines at the gym, at least not when I'm there by myself at first. I am a Jillian Michael's fan and would love to do her DVDs daily because I know the changes that they can make. Unfortunately doing the DVDs at 5am are just not realistic when you live on the second floor of an apartment building. Add on that the fact that our downstairs neighbors are expecting twins soon I would prefer to not get in the habit of doing the DVDs when I get home from work out of respect of having not one, but two new babies and not knowing their schedule.

So tonight I sat down with my phone and both 30 Day Shred and Ripped in 30. I watched them and typed out a workout that I could do at the gym. The current plan is to do a 30 minute cardio warm up and then the workout that I have typed out. In a week or two I will watch level two of both DVDs and adjust the workout to make it more difficult so that my body will keep guessing.

I'm going to try it tomorrow and see how I feel. With Patrick's schedule I will be able to make it to the gym every morning except Wednesday, which would be more than enough for the first week, in addition to 3 or more days of running.

Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday- bike
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday- elliptical

Arm crosses- 30 seconds
Arm circles- 30 seconds
Jumping jacks- 25
Open feet hip width apart, hands to the sky, bend over, squat, arms up, stand- 10
Squat/knee grab- 10 each side
Push ups- 10
Squat and press- 10
Lunge/arm kickbacks- 10 each side
Skaters- 20
30 second plank
Dead weight, chest row- 10
Squat/kettle bell swing- 10
Bosu ball squats- 10
Side hip raises- 10 each side
Chair reverse flies- 10
Touch toes, walk it out, plank, push up, walk it back, touch toes, stand- 5
Side lunges with front raise- 5 each side
Lunge with bicep curl- 10 each side
Crunches- 20
Reverse crunches- 20
Push ups- 10
Squat and press- 10
Jumping jacks- 25
Crunches- 20
Reverse crunches- 20
Bosu ball squats- 10
Squat dumb bell row- 10
Static lunge with bicep curl- 10 each side
Punches- 30 seconds
Side crunch- 20 each side
Bicycle crunch- 10 each side

Stretch

I feel a little strange doing a workout that doesn't use any machines and just taking 5 pound weights to use at my leisure for approximately 20 minutes, but I guess that would be the best place to go to do a workout, right? I'm thinking about it too much when I just need to enjoy my workout and get my sweat on.

Weekend Recap

This past week has been an interesting one in regards to working out. In fact, besides a run on Monday and a run on Thursday, working out this week has been non-existent.

I feel weird about not going to the gym. It was part of my routine and then it just stopped, which worries me with what will happen when I try to get back into it tomorrow. I can only assume I will be tired and not as excited about it right away. My miles are also behind for the bike and elliptical. That is kind of frustrating but it's no ones fault but my own. I just don't like trying to play catch up and always feel behind. Which makes me want to restart this whole thing in January to make it easier to track.

I don't feel guilty though. I really don't. I mean, it sucks that I did next to nothing, but at the same time I have a good reason.

My family.

They are my number one priority and I will always ALWAYS choose them over anyone and anything else. This was the first week of school for Isabel and since Patrick had to open every day except Friday I was able to take her to school. Of course that meant that I couldn't get up before work and go to the gym because I was up with Isabel getting her ready. And of course going in late to work means going home late as well. It just was not worth it to me to get home at 6pm and go to the gym for an hour, leaving a half hour to spend time with my daughter before she goes to bed.

I would much rather spend that time with her than at the gym. It doesn't matter that my mile goals for the bike and elliptical will be put on hold and it doesn't matter that my workout efforts were close to zero. I spent time with my daughter and it was so worth it.

Thankfully Patrick's schedule is a little easier for me to get in some workouts next week. Unfortunately it means that I won't see him as often as I would like. I will be able to make it to the gym every morning before work except for Wednesday. Now I just need to retrain my body to get up at 4:30am.

This weekend wasn't a complete bust though. I did clean the entire apartment Saturday while Patrick was at work. I deep cleaned the kitchen and got through every single room. Picked up, dusted and vacuumed. There were some things I wish I would have been able to get to (some redecorating) but that wasn't necessary and by the time he got home he was pleasantly surprised with how the apartment looked. We both feel so much better when we have a clean apartment, but unfortunately it doesn't stay that way for very long. Not with a 5 year old tornado.

Today was swap meet day in the valley and my mom, niece, Isabel and I got up early in order to go. I have never left this particular swap meet empty handed and for a $2 entry fee it is totally worth it. I usually don't go with a specific item in mind to look for, which makes it more exciting when you can find something you want. I tend to find something, think of a top price I would pay for it and then either ask or look at the price. If it's higher I walk away (or haggle depending on how close it is to that price) and if it's that price or under I buy it.

Today I found two items that I wanted for my patio. I am quickly losing room to put plants out there (I blame Patrick's barbecue), but having plants out there makes me feel more relaxed and it's nice to have a cup of coffee out there in the morning or a glass of wine and a good book in the evenings. I cannot wait until I have a backyard with more room to decorate.

Isabel and I spent a little time out on the patio after I placed my new items out there. She blew bubbles and I finally took some pictures of Patrick's jalapeno and bell peppers. He bought the plants when they were about an eighth of the size for $1 at the farmer's market. They are incredible and he definitely has the green thumb in this family. I am able to keep my succulents alive, but that's not saying much...

I am hoping to get back into working out next week, but without the need to get in a certain amount of miles I may branch out and start using the weight machines more. I am ready to get back to eating right and exercising in order to tone up and slim down. We shall see what happens. No pressure means that it should be more enjoyable.

 

 

Confessions of a Running Mom

Yesterday was the first day of school. I really thought that I was going to completely lose it when I dropped her off. I had prepared myself all weekend by tearing up randomly, basically scaring Isabel into thinking that I was upset that she was growing up and that doing so was a bad thing.

I did my absolute best to wait until she went to bed Sunday night before needing to be hugged and calmed down by Patrick. He's so good with my irrational break downs... I sobbed into his shoulder trying to explain how I had gone the past 5 years fighting to keep her with me and now I'm just sending her off. He told me that it was a part of being a parent and that everything would be okay.

I took the entire day off from work so that I could drop her off and pick her up and spend some extra time with her since my work schedule is going to be pretty odd now that she is in school. Since Patrick works in retail he does not have a set schedule so some mornings I will have to take her to school and other mornings he will take her. Her school doesn't allow drop offs until 7:45am, meaning that I won't get to work until 8:15-8:30 depending on traffic. My normal 7:30-4:30 shifts won't work on those days, so I will be working 8:30-5:30. I don't really like this because there will be more traffic both on the way to work and on the way home, but it does mean that we get to spend an hour together in the mornings getting ready for school and that I get to take her to school. These are important moments here.

Having this schedule also means that my workout schedule needs some retouching. There is no way that I can justify going to the gym after getting home on those days that I take Isabel to school. I wouldn't get home until after 7pm and after showers, dinner, etc I would only see her for a half hour. We're trying to get her into bed no later than 8. That's not enough for me. So for now I will be doing some at home workouts and trying to make up the miles on the weekends and on the days that Patrick closes or is off.

I tried to use my day off the best I could. My car was up for scheduled maintenance so I made an appointment to drop it off in the morning. What I thought would be an $80 visit ended up starting at $310 since my car is almost at 60,000 miles and I "needed" the blue service. So many services were being thrown at me which meant $$$. I decided to get the bare minimum that I could which was the estimated $310 service.

That's what I thought about when I ran from the Toyota dealership to my parents house. For 5.07 miles I thought about money and how frustrating it is to start to feel ahead financially and then get knocked down a peg or two. I wasn't really stressing that badly because we had the money in our checking account, but it would be a drain on it since Patrick also had to pay child support. I apologized to him for the inconvenience (he quickly text back that there was no reason to apologize) and then I went on my merry way.

Then I got a call that the water pump was leaking coolant and that it would cost another $300 some odd dollars. Frick on a stick! Okay, fine. It has to be fixed because that's obviously not good... I figured I could transfer some money around and we could pay it back on payday. No big deal. Another apology and another it's okay. And of course something else was found to be broken. Not quite sure what, but it was cracked and needed to be replaced. Thankfully I wasn't charged for service, just the part, but a total of $792 later and my car was back in my possession.

I cannot begin to express my gratitude to my parents. My sister and I were very fortunate growing up and as soon as we graduated from high school we were told that we had a college fund. I am so grateful to my parents for setting this up and have in turn learned that it's something that needs to be done early for my own children. Each of our three kids have an account and although they are not as much as I would like, they are slowly growing and it means a lot to me to be able to at least help my children reach their dreams. There happened to be money left over in this account that I had decided to keep in the account in case I wanted to get a car or home loan through the credit union. My mom suggested I take the money out of that account and put it towards my car. Such a relief to not have to stress about it! I ended up taking enough to pay for the car and a little extra (just in case it ended up costing more) and put the extra into our house savings.

The added expense was unfortunate and unexpected, but I didn't freak out and I think that is such a huge step in the right direction. Patrick and I are still in the beginning stages of finding our footing when it comes to our finances and although we're not where we would like to be, we are on our way and I think the potential is endless. In fact, we're discussing having a garage sale at my parents in order to bring in some extra money for our house and/or car savings accounts. Responsibility!

Today is the second day of school and oddly enough it was more difficult today than it was yesterday. I think mainly for the fact that I knew that I wasn't going to be picking her up or seeing her until later tonight. I basically dropped her off, said goodbye and had to leave in order to make it to work. It was difficult to walk away, difficult to see her through the gate (and running to me for one more kiss), difficult to drive away thinking that she will most likely line up in the wrong line again. I have to kind of let go though. It's not in my control anymore and I feel comfortable with the teachers and the yard supervisor to get her where she needs to go.

It has been helping to journal. I think that it's something that will be a nice surprise for her when she graduates from high school and since I'm including photos and stuff it will be nice to look back on together. I asked her questions yesterday about her favorites and what she wants to be when she grows up and I think it will be nice to see her answers change as the years go by. I also found a really sentimental poem that hit home that I included for today's entry:

"I wonder what you're doing right now,

and if everyone is treating you kind.

I home there is a special person,

a nice friend that you can find.

I wonder if the teacher knows

just how special you are to me.

And if the brightness of your hear

is something she can see.

I wonder if you are thinking about me,

and if you need a hug.

I already miss the sound of your voice

and how you give my leg a tug.

I wonder if you could possibly understand

how hard it is for me to let you grow.

On this day know that my heart breaks,

for this is the first step in letting my baby go."

Weekly Workout

My scheduled didn't change much this week because it has been working so well. Unfortunately, I had to be a responsible parent Thursday and Friday. That, on top of being lazy, meant that my workouts at the gym got pushed back. I knew that I didn't have that many miles to do on both the bike and the elliptical, so I knew that I could push it back.

I really do not like taking two rest days in a row. It fuels the laziness and I end up making more excuses than normal to skip workouts.

Thankfully I did break that rest streak with a run on Saturday morning. It was a little difficult to get out of bed. The result of staying up later than planned and not having someone to meet for the run. That extra accountability of meeting with someone to run is such a huge motivation..

I did end up getting up and going for my run and afterwards I felt like I could keep going. Perfect motivation to get back into the routine at the gym. The endorphins helped too..

Week of 8/12/13 to 8/17/13

Monday			Tuesday
Time or Distance	Workout		Workout	Time or Distance
1 hour gym	Stationary Bike     ☺		Stationary Bike     ☺	1 hour gym
	Elliptical     ☺		Elliptical     ☺
1.37 mile	Walk at work     ☺		Walk at work     ☺	1.37 mile
2.10 mile	Walk at work     ☺		Walk at work     ☺	2.10 mile
30-45 min	Interval run     ☺
	Run/Walk                           62.83/1250 miles		Run/Walk                           66.30/1250 miles
	Bike                                     97.20/1800 miles		Bike                                    105.66/1800 miles
	Elliptical                               30.77/600 miles		Elliptical                                33.80/600 miles

Wednesday			Thursday
Time or Distance	Workout		Workout	Time or Distance
1 hour gym	Stationary Bike     ☺		Stationary Bike	1 hour gym
	Elliptical     ☺		Elliptical
1.37 mile	Walk at work     ☺		Walk at work     ☺	1.37 mile
2.10 mile	Walk at work     ☺		Walk at work	2.10 mile
30-45 min	Interval run     ☺
	Run/Walk                           71.94/1250 miles		Run/Walk                            73.31/1250 miles
	Bike                                     114.79/1800 miles		Bike                                    114.79/1800 miles
	Elliptical                               36.32/600 miles		Elliptical                               36.32/600 miles

Friday			Saturday
Time or Distance	Workout		Workout	Time or Distance
1 hour gym	If needed to make up mileage on bike		Long Training Run     ☺	5 miles 6 miles
	or elliptical		If needed to make up mileage on bike	1 hour gym
? min	Walk		or elliptical     ☺
	Run/Walk                            73.31/1250 miles		Run/Walk                           79.35/1250 miles
	Bike                                    114.79/1800 miles		Bike                                    123.15/1800 miles
	Elliptical                              36.32/600 miles		Elliptical                              38.75/600 miles

Next week is going to be a little weird and I am not going to be too strict with myself about this schedule. Isabel starts kindergarten tomorrow, so there are going to be a couple days where I have to take her to school since Patrick opens. This will push my normal work schedule from 730-430 to 830-530. I'm most likely going to want to come straight home after work, but I am going to hopefully work it into the schedule so that I can get some time each day (even if it's only a half hour).

The important thing about the schedule is being flexible and just getting in the miles each week. As long as I can get in the minimum I need for each day then I'll be happy.

As of now, this is what I have scheduled.

Week of 8/19/13 to 8/24/13

Monday			Tuesday
Time or Distance	Workout		Workout	Time or Distance
1 hour gym	Stationary Bike		Stationary Bike	1 hour gym
	Elliptical		Elliptical
? min	Walk		Walk at work	1.37 mile
30-45 min	Interval run		Walk at work	2.10 mile
			Arm Workout
	Run/Walk                              /1250 miles		Run/Walk                               /1250 miles
	Bike                                         /1800 miles		Bike                                         /1800 miles
	Elliptical                                 /600 miles		Elliptical                                /600 miles

Wednesday			Thursday
Time or Distance	Workout		Workout	Time or Distance
1 hour gym	Stationary Bike		Stationary Bike	1 hour gym
	Elliptical		Elliptical
1.37 mile	Walk at work		Walk at work	1.37 mile
2.10 mile	Walk at work		Walk at work	2.10 mile
30-45 min	Interval run		Arm Workout
	Leg Workout
	Run/Walk                               /1250 miles		Run/Walk                               /1250 miles
	Bike                                         /1800 miles		Bike                                         /1800 miles
	Elliptical                                 /600 miles		Elliptical                                 /600 miles

Friday			Saturday
Time or Distance	Workout		Workout	Time or Distance
1 hour gym	If needed to make up mileage on bike		Long Training Run	4 miles
	or elliptical
1.37 mile	Walk at work
2.10 mile	Walk at work
	Leg Workout
	Run/Walk                               /1250 miles		Run/Walk                               /1250 miles
	Bike                                         /1800 miles		Bike                                         /1800 miles
	Elliptical                                 /600 miles		Elliptical                                 /600 miles