Thursday Thoughts

Thankful Thursday:

Five things I am thankful for about myself

1. I am thankful that I am trying to become a more organized person. I am at the point in my life where I want everything to have a place and for everything to be picked up and put away by the end of the day. It may not always happen and I may not always enforce it, but it's what I mentally want to have happen and I think I am attempting to take the steps necessary to make it happen (getting rid of things I do not want/need/use as well as making a chore chart so that Patrick and I feel equal and both participate).

2. I am thankful that I am physically active. I may not always do the workouts I have scheduled or even get in as many as I would like, but I am active and I always feel good and enjoy the endorphins after a good workout. Even simply getting through 5 days of the squats challenge has shown me that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for and I am really enjoying the sore thighs and rear end already.

3. I am thankful that I am willing to put my training on the back burner for others. Sometimes I am able to get in my alone training just for me and I am so grateful for those runs, but I am also so happy to run with other people and to spread the love I have of running to others. Sometimes it's important for me to focus on my run and the things I need to make it through, but most of the time I am so much more interested in seeing other people succeed and reach their goals.

4. I am thankful that I am still excited about our finances and that things are going fairly well. We have been able to make it each week with a little left over. Not much, but enough to feel like there is a bit of a safety net. This paycheck and last paycheck we were even able to transfer extra over to our house savings. We're making progress and that's the important part. I'm also really excited because we are making progress in paying off the rest of Patrick's debt and should be done paying it off by this time next year (if not sooner!)

5. I am thankful that I am feeling sore from the squat challenge. It seems silly because today is only day 5 and I will only be doing 40 squats today, but for some reason it feels different this time around. I think it's because I am taking my time each squat and getting down lower as well as focusing on the movement instead of just getting it done to say it's done. I like feeling sore when I feel like I've earned it.

Five things I am thankful for in life

1. I am thankful that I have had a job with the same company for 3 years. My official anniversary date is September 20th, but I should be receiving my bonus check anytime between now and that date. My goal about a year ago (when things weren't going so well at the office due to people who have bad attitudes and negative personalities) my goal was to make it to the three year mark in order to receive my bonus and because I think that's a good amount of time to be with a company before starting to look for a new job. Well, I've made it. I'll be receiving my bonus. I was recently promoted. And that negative person is no longer working here. Although it would be helpful to make more money, Patrick and I aren't that bad off and if needed I could try to find something so that I can work from home to make a few extra dollars a month to help. I think that it would be worth it right now to stay where I'm at because what I've seen in the want ad's are not offering close to what I make now.

2. I am still thankful for my wonderful parents. I do not know what we would do without them and we are so incredibly lucky. My mom picks up Isabel every day from school unless Patrick is off of work and it is so comforting to know that she's with someone we know, love and trust. She then has to go back to the same school to pick up my niece and her two friends, take her friends to the Boys and Girls Club. It's a lot of driving and a lot of stress, especially when the girls don't get along (which is more often than not). I feel as though my parents did a pretty good job raising my sister and I. We've never had trouble with the law, we've never done drugs, we made mistakes but learned and grew from them, we both have decent jobs and we are both married to pretty awesome men. My parents raised us into good people and I know that their influence on Isabel will help her become a good person as well.

3. I am thankful that I have my new GPS watch. It is amazing and I love uploading my workouts onto my computer. I didn't know that my other GPS watch could do the same and I was able to get it to work for a short amount of time to download those past workouts. I don't want to take this watch off because it doubles as a regular watch. I use it for every walk and/or run so that I can keep track of my progress. I love when something so simple can push you to workout longer and harder. I want to keep seeing the miles increase and the speed increase and every thing else that it offers to track is just icing on top of a pretty sweet cake.

4. I am thankful that we are going to be having a garage sale sometime soon (not quite sure when). We have already started going through our apartment to get rid of the things that we no longer want/need/use and I just downloaded a declutter calander (password: iamorganized) to make sure we get through the entire apartment and really end up getting rid of the unnecessary items as well as clean/organize what we keep. I am excited for this project and even more excited for the money we may make to put towards debt and savings. Most likely (depending on how much we make) we will put a third towards our past (debt), a third towards our future (savings) and a third towards the present (a night out).

5. This week I am most thankful for my husband. On Sunday we had quite a scare and I would really like to never experience anything like it again. Patrick has had a neck problem for as long as I have known him and it has gone on before that. He recently started seeing a doctor for the problem because it finally became unmanageable. On Sunday the pain was more than he could bare, so he decided to take two muscle relaxers. Unfortunately he had also been out in the heat, he didn't have enough to eat and he had a beer. The mixture of everything caused him to almost pass out, become extremely jittery, slur his words and have a difficult time focusing and responding, and all around scare the living day lights out of me. I was not aware of all of the factors when the symptoms first came on and I would have sworn I thought he was having a stroke. An ambulance ride, 5 hours in the ER and an IV of fluids later and he became the man I know. They did do a scan of his head to make sure it was not a stroke (which scared me even more when they thought it could be a reason to the behavior), but thankfully that came back clear. I love this man so much, and the thought of losing him was almost more than I could bare. Thankfully he is alright though and we did have an appointment with his doctor to go over the MRI results. As of right now he needs to focus on taking his anti-inflammatory twice a day, icing his neck every day and using heat every night. He will be starting physical therapy soon. If that doesn't help then most likely he will see a surgeon. Fingers crossed that the physical therapy helps and that he follows through doing what he needs to do.

Throwback Thursday:
I think it's going to take me a little while to get used to posting pictures of myself from the past. I feel a little weird doing it, but there are not a lot of pictures of myself from the past five years and that's kind of something I regret. So I'm going to put them out there from all phases of the past few years. From my highest weight when I was nine months pregnant and the yo yo weights from then to now. I don't know how many pictures I actually have, but I think it will be good to come to terms with my past in order to accept who I am now.

It's been one hell of a journey and I am ready to see myself, maybe the way others saw me. Again, I don't know how many pictures there are of me since I'm usually the one behind the camera. I'm going to do my best to pick pictures that show my body since this is a weight loss/fitness blog (or at least it's supposed to be).

My photo CDs are in no particular order (an ongoing organizing task I have yet to find time or money to do). Since they are not in any order, the photo's I post weekly will also not be in any particular order. I will do my best to include a year, but most pictures will be from March 2008-present as that is when I started saving my pictures onto discs.

 February 2009- Isabel's one year pictures

I had a friend of mine take pictures a few weeks before Isabel's first birthday so that I would have some new pictures of her to put up for the family to see. I know that at that time I was concerned that I hadn't lost all of the baby weight and that I would be doomed to carry it around with me forever.

I did eventually lose what I had gained and then some. And then it quickly came back on.

But looking at these pictures now, four and a half years later I don't see my weight. I'm not looking at my body. I'm looking at my smile and how in love I am with a little girl that makes any room she walks into brighter. She has been such a bundle of joy since the day she was born and I cannot believe how she has changed since the day she was born and how she has changed my life.

Running Crafts

I used to have every single racing bib and medal hanging in our living room in our apartment. I was proud of my accomplishments and wanted to show off.

 

But we never had any visitors and it felt kind of silly having them hanging where they were. I decided one day out of the blue to take down all of my running memorabilia that was in the living room, leaving room on one shelf for my running books and my racing bib, medal, a picture, my knee high sock with "Los Angeles" down the side, my shoe lace and congratulation cards from my first marathon.

 

I kind of thought that it was silly to be bragging about these races. I thought that it was a bit much to show off all of my bibs and all of my medals and to have pictures up from races.

 

But a few weeks went by and I realized that I was missing something. I missed seeing those numbers, those medals, those memories from my accomplishments.

 

I can talk anyone up. If they're having a bad day or are thinking little of themselves for doing something that they don't think is amazing I can put on my cheerleader outfit (not literally- and sorry for that mental image) and wave my pom poms around in order to make them feel better and to boost them up.

 

But ask me to be a cheerleader for myself and I am unable to think of anything positive to say. I can think of a few reasons why this is, and I'm learning how to get out of this way of thinking through therapy but not making much progress.

 

Back to my point..

 

I felt like my races were not anything to brag about because there are so many people out there who have done so much more than I have. But there is no reason why I shouldn't be proud of what I have done, in fact I should be showing them off because there are so many people out there who haven't done as much as I have.

 

I decided to put some of my bibs and medals up on a bulletin board.

 

 

But it's not really doing it for me. So I decided to make my own. I'm still in the process of making it, but I'm really excited about it. I think it's going to be just the right size to not be the center of attention, but I can put it out where people can see it without feeling like it's over taking the room.

 

I have already decided that I'm going to be making a set for a couple people for Christmas, but with different sayings. I'm excited about that too. And my mom has suggested I make a bunch of them and sell them at a nearby craft show. I'm not sure they're that good and I would probably spend more time to make them better, but is it really that far fetched of an idea? I had fun doing it, it wasn't too expensive and it would be awesome to make some extra money... We'll see what happens.

 

 

The hooks I plan on using for my sign.

 

Stencils.

Bling It On.

Find Your Happy Pace

This will be the sign that I hang my medals on.

This sign will be the sign that I hang my racing bibs on (once I get a clip).

My Current Top Ten Future Personal Goals

1. Save up enough money to send my children to college

2. Save up enough money for a down payment on a house

3. Have more pictures taken of myself instead of always being behind the camera.

4. Make a chore chart and stick with it to keep a clean and organized home.

5. Read more.

6. Keep a written journal and stop tearing pages out of it.

7. Stick to planned budget and track spending.

8. Limit personal shopping trips.

9. Limit eating out to 2 times a week.

10. Continue to dress for success.

Reading About Running

I love to read.

I love to run..

I love to read about running...

It makes sense. I think that there is so much more to running than getting out there and doing it, although that's the most important aspect. Running is physical and mental and anything to get you through a run is important.

My original "ritual" for running were my knee high socks. I have half a drawer full of knee high socks. They were my thing for a while. I think it was because I'm a pretty quiet and reserved person and this was my way to go a little wild. I wore them the first time at our first Mud Run and continued throughout most of my races (including Mickey Mouse socks at the Disney half, Robin socks matching Rachel's Batman socks at the Hollywood Half and socks that had "Los Angeles" down the sides for the LA Marathon to name a few). I stopped wearing them as often when I noticed more and more people wearing them at races.

I decided recently that I wanted to add to my book collection, especially my running book collection. I think that reading about running and getting hints and tips about making through a run is an important part of the process. There may be something that you haven't thought of that can bring you to the finish line. Something that you would have never thought of before.

For me, I can sometimes get through a run just by thinking of an inspirational story that I have read about someone else and it can help me get through a difficult run because someone else has been through a lot worse. Granted it doesn't make the run any less difficult to get through, but sometimes just thinking "if they can do it, so can I" can push me to finish.

I've started reading the top book, Be Your Best at Marathon Running. I'm enjoying the book. Although it is geared toward a first time marathon runner, there is still a lot of information in there that I am finding helpful. I hope that all of the running books I've found so far (and hope to find in the future) are as insightful as this one.

Weekend Update

I didn't post last night for a few reasons. I didn't get to bed until pretty late and just did not have the physical energy to get out of bed to get the computer and I didn't have the mental energy to think about something to say.

I have found myself eating more, not tracking and not caring. That's not a good place to be mentally. I know myself and I know that I'm falling off of the wagon. 

Putting forth effort to make changes to your body takes a lot. Mentally, emotionally, physically, financially.. It takes dedication and it is exhausting. When those efforts don't show any progress then it can be very easy to just walk away and quit.   

I don't want to quit. I don't want to give up. I know that I am making positive changes whether I can measure the progress or not, but it's getting over the mental part that is messing me up and I can't seem to get past that.

We are leaving for vacation next Friday. Vacations for my family includes a lot of eating, and this trip we have decided to try to avoid chain restaurants. This means the nutritional information will be limited. 

I also feel as though I may get push back for being on my phone tracking calories. My family tends to think I get obsessed when I am tracking points or calories. I can agree to a point, but I feel as though my obsession is better to be considered dedication.

I truly believe that if I am conscious of what I'm eating, make good choices, eat healthy portions and enjoy myself then I will be successful no matter what. Plus, being on vacation and going to new restaurants means that it is okay to splurge a little. Not every meal and not every day, but occasionally.

My goal while on vacation is to continue my running streak and continue my squat challenge. All other exercise will be considered a bonus. 

And when I get back I want to dive back in full force. I want to increase my exercise and focus on my eating. I need to have more self discipline when it comes to eating. I can only succeed if I allow myself to.

I think that a fresh start is needed and am looking forward to that start when we get back. 

As for this weekend... Saturday started off early with my scheduled 4 mile run. I went to pick up Isabel at my parents and my mom and I found ourselves out running errands at Kohl's. She is the best shopping partner because she will give you her honest opinion, but she does it in a way that doesn't hurt your feelings.

I ended up getting a nice long sleeve gray shirt, a black long sleeve running shirt, new beach/pool towels and a pair of walking shoes. 

I have been putting a lot of miles on my running shoes and will need to replace them soon. Once I go back to work I am hoping to get back into my walking routine (a short walk on my break and a long walk on my lunch). This will quickly add up a lot of miles and I'd rather not do that to my running shoes that need to last me while longer. They were on sale and it was an easy decision. 

This morning also started early. I met my mom at her house to go to the monthly swap meet we shop at. It has become our new favorite swap meet and we have both found great deals every single time we've gone. Last month I found a great three tiered corner shelf that is on our balcony as a plant stand for $10. Today I found a planter (with a plant), 3 old tins (in red, white and blue) that I plan on plating and putting out on my patio, a cute bird house, a hanging plant holder for our dining room (that I will put a pot in and "plant" with silk flowers), and a bench. I may end up reupholstering it or possibly taking the seat off and doing mosaic on it and using it as another bench for my plants an flowers. So many options!

We had dinner at my sister's tonight to go over our vacation plans. I am so excited for this vacation! We have so many fun things planned that I am really looking forward to. More on that later, though..

All in all, a good weekend. Not food wise, but everything else was absolutely wonderful! And that's what I'm going to focus on.

Wednesday June 12th

I've been able to get in my arm workout and complete my squats in the morning, but I've been consistently waiting to run until the evenings. Not waiting, but putting it off. 

I don't want to wake up early to run.. Or Patrick has to open so I can't go in the morning.. Or it's too hot.. Or I just ate.. Or.. 101 other excuses. 

So I go at night and so far it hasn't been too bad. The only issue with waiting that long is that the excuses start up pretty early and it's difficult for me to take that first step out the door.

So last night I made the decision to run in the morning since I have plans tonight...

I set my alarm and got up at 7:30. I put on my running shoes and I went for my run. 3.10 miles done. A 5K finished before 8:30. Not my best time, not my best run. But I did it. I did it and I didn't have to worry about it all day. 

That is a great feeling and may be incentive enough to do it again tomorrow. We'll see...

 

In other running news, I made my way over to the used book store across the street from our apartment. It's a $5 or less bookstore and I absolutely love it. I was lucky enough to make it over there before dinner with no children so I was able to actually look for books in the adult section of the store without complaint from a 5 year old.

 

I normally look at the health section for books on running, as this is where other exercise type books are located. I rarely find what I'm looking for though. Tonight I made my way over to the sports section and low and behold there was a section specifically for running. Yes, sometimes I lack common sense...

 

I have a small collection of running books, only one of which I have read. But I am hoping to add to my running book collection and I am hoping to start reading them to build up my education on the sport as well as learn some hints and tips. Tonight I was lucky and found four books that caught my eye, all for $17:

 

- Be Your Best At Marathon Running by Tim Rogers 

- The Complete Book of Running for Women by Claire Kowalchik

- Running on Faith by Jason Lester

- The Complete Book of Running by James F Fixx

 

So far my favorite author of running books is Dean Karnazes, however I have yet to find any of his books at the used store and I'm not ready to pay full price. This may be a good item to add to my growing Christmas wish list... I have downloaded a few of his books on my Nook (including my favorites 50/50 and Run! 26.2 Stories of Blisters and Bliss) but there is just something about holding a book that I love. And I am hoping to one day have book shelves filled with books.

 

Wednesday June 12th:
Goal: 1540
Food: 1717
Exercise: -310
Net: 1407

Breakfast:
Whole wheat waffles, peanut butter, coffee, creamer, splenda
Calories: 327

Lunch:
Chicken tortilla soup
Calories: 360

Snack:
Apple, candy
Calories: 480

Dinner:
Chips & salsa, grilled shrimp dinner
Calories: 550

Dessert:
Soy milk
Calories: 60

Exercise:
1 mile intervals, 1 mile run, 1 mile walk, squats, arm workout
Calories: -310

Positive: I am loving how my legs are looking. My calves and shins are getting some definition and I love seeing my hard work pay off. 

My Motivation Wall

This past weekend was very productive in regards to cleaning the apartment. Patrick and I strive to keep a clean apartment, but sometimes life gets in the way. Life, and a 5 year old.

We decided that it was about time we made our apartment a home. Even though we've lived here for almost a year, and although it's not our forever home, it was about time we put in the effort to make it more homey. 

We decided that we are going to stay in this apartment until we buy a house. It may be smaller than we'd like, but it's what we can afford and we are hoping that once we get out of debt we can focus our energy (and money) into our house savings fund.

We did our normal cleaning an picking up, but we also moved a few frames around and finally put up a few pieces o art that have been sitting out waiting to be placed somewhere. We also got rid of our pile of donations that had been sitting in our living room.

While in this cleaning mood I also decided to make my motivation wall. We had two empty bulletin boards and I couldn't think of any other use for them, so for now they are my motivation. 

I briefly mentioned making them on Saturday. I decided to dedicate one board to my running bibs and medals. It got a little crowded when I put all of my racing bibs up, so I took down my 5 and 10K bibs and put up my half and full marathon ones only. I cannot believe that I have completed 7 half marathons and 3 full marathons.. This boggles my mind.



My other bulletin board is solely motivational quotes with a few pictures to remind me where I've been. These include a picture from my first race ever as well as crossing the finish lines of my first half and my first full marathon. The quotes I used were from my runner's daily calendar and from running magazines. I still have a few quotes from pinterest that I would like to write out and hang, but for now these are a few of my favorites:

"I realized today is the day I write my own story."

"It's your run, make it count."

"Find your strong."

"If you can run, you can run harder. If you can train, you can train harder."

"Don't expect every day to be better than the last. Some days will be slower than others, and some days may hurt a bit. But as long as you're on the road, it's a good day."

"Don't listen to negative influences. Believe in yourself, and show others what you can do. Only you can find your potential." -Marla Runyan

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret to getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one." -Mark Twain

"There is no failure in running, or in life, as long as you keep running." -Amby Burfoot

"I run because I like to push myself- and my body- to the limit. I love the idea of setting goals and climbing the ladder to achieve them. Once I reach a goal, I feel like I am on top of the world."

"Where's your run happy place?"

As I mentioned, pinterest has been a nice convenient place to find motivation as well, the following are just a few of the motivational quotes I have found that will be useful to me on my journey:

I placed the bulletin board stragically in a place that I know I will see it every day. I may not spend time every single day looking at it, but I will see it and I will know that there is a place that is mine that I can go to and get from it what I need. It's a good feeling to know that it' there.

Saturday June 1st

I cannot believe another month is over. This year is just flying by!

May was a good month that brought my niece's 9th birthday and Patrick's and my 4 year anniversary. I didn't really make the most out of the month like I could have, but there's no use thinking about the coulda, shoulda, woulda. Instead I turn to the month of June with high hopes. June is going to be my month!

This month starts with my mom's birthday celebration tomorrow. My parent's will also be celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in the middle of the month. And at the end of the month the family will be heading on a family vacation up the coast of California to San Francisco for the 4th of July.

But before I go into what I hope to accomplish in June, let's take a look at what happened today.

I continued my streak tonight, running a mile for the 6th night in a row. I planned on running 5 miles today, but that was before I knew what Patrick's schedule was. He had to open this morning so my only option was to run this afternoon when he got home (when it was in the high 80's) or later in the evening (pushing back dinner, again...)

So I pushed my 5 mile run a day and will complete it tomorrow morning bright and early while it's still cool. I'm thinking I'll run intervals for 3 miles to let my legs warm up, run a mile straight and then run a mile using intervals for the last mile to cool down. My legs have been feeling a little tight, what with running a mile straight every day, so I think three miles will be a good amount to get my legs going.

Today was a very successful day in home décor. I found a dresser a few weeks ago at a thrift store. The drawers inside were broken and the price tag was $40. It was just a little too much for me to pay for something that I'd have to put more money into to fix. I couldn't be happier with my decision to not buy that piece of furniture, especially today.

Today I found a dresser sitting in front of the dumpster at our apartment complex. So I got Patrick and our neighbor and they carried it upstairs for me. It's missing a few drawers, but that's not an issue (especially with Pinterest and all the ideas I can get off of there..)



Finding the dresser.



The dresser has found a new home.

The left side has games, covered by frames and the right side has puzzles, covered by frames. Not sure what we're putting in the middle yet, but we'll think of something.

Then tonight, after having such a kick of motivation to work on decorating our apartment I decided it was time to fill my two bulletin boards so that Patrick can hang them (as well as a few other things tomorrow). One will go in the dining room above the new dresser (which will be pushed over to be centered), and the other will go in our bathroom as my motivation wall. I don't have much space in our bedroom to put the bulletin board and I want it to be someplace that I will see it every day.

My racing bibs and metals. They're kind of overlaying one another, so it's difficult to see them all.

My motivation wall. Most of it is running quotes, photos and inspirations.

And now for the month ahead of me...

I don't want to keep making weekly goals, so I will make a few monthly goals.

1. End the month lighter than my weigh in on Monday.
2. Continue my running streak.
3. Find and maintain healthy eating habits.
4. Continue to read Love Your Body, Love Your Life.
5. Continue to find one positive/day.

I feel like I'm getting really close to being where I need to be to make this lifestyle change. I am getting to the point where it's not something I desperately want for the wrong reasons. It's something I want because I deserve to be healthy, I deserve to be physically fit, I deserve to love my body and I deserve to reach my goals- both with weight loss and exercise.

I plan on signing up for My Fitness Pal either tomorrow or Monday. Although tracking what I am eating on a day to day basis has been helpful, I am still eating whatever I want, just with the added task of writing it down, So I will now be tracking calories as a way to reign in my out of control eating.

I feel good today. Happy. Possibly because of my awesome find that makes our small apartment feel just a little bit more like a home. Maybe because running a mile is getting a little easier. Or it could be that things are just aligning themselves up nicely because I'm getting into a place that's more positive all around.

Whatever the reasons, I'm enjoying this feeling and I hope it sticks around for a while.