Putting the Scale Away

I had a productive therapy session last week. I talked to her about my irrational mood changes after standing on the scale and my frustrations with my body.

I decided to take her advice and put the scale away. To hide it and only weigh in once a month along with taking measurements. She suggested this tactic so that if I do gain at least there could be a difference in my measurements so that I can see some form of progress. 

I am putting too much emphasis on my weight and not enough focus on what I am doing on a daily basis. I am still too focused on the things I did wrong each day and not being proud of the things I got right. That should really be the only thing I look at. 

I am going to weigh in today and track my weight as well as retake my measurements. I am going to start tracking again when we get back from vacation, but I will only be weighing and taking my measurements once a month, on the 24th of each month. 

I used a photo from pinterest as motivation to write on my scale. A visual reminder that I am not what that number says. 

Motivation: 

My scale:

I am most likely going to be asking Patrick to hide the scale. If it's not out for me to see on a day to day basis then I feel like I will be less likely to cheat and look at the scale. When it is time to check my weight then I will see what I have written and hopefully remember that it's just a way to track progress and nothing else.  

It can't hurt to try it for a month or so. If I find myself slipping with eating, exercising and tracking then I may go back to weekly weigh-ins. I'm going to play it by ear and see what I am capable of. It may be the best thing for me to put the scale away.. You never know if you don't try.

All I do know is that for this month I will be working on my relationship with me.

Last weeks weight: 184.4

This weeks weight: 185.2

+/-: +0.8

Total +/-: +0.8

Measurements: 

Arm (L)- 

last month- 13"

this month- 12.75"

Difference- -.25"

Thigh (L)- 

last month- 26.25"

this month- 26.25"

Difference- 0"

Bust- 

last month- 40" 

this month- 40"

Difference- 0"

Waist- 

last month- 36" 

this month- 35.25"

Difference- -.75"

Hips- 

last month- 44.5" 

this month- 44.25"

Difference- -.25"

BMI- 

last month- 27.2= overweight

this month- 27.3= overweight

Difference- +0.1

 

Thoughts: Where do I begin? Let's start with the weight... I am now at my heighest ever adult weight (other than when I was pregnant). Here are the emotions I've already felt in the past 15 minutes regarding the scale and myself: anger, frustration, disgust, sadness and indifference. 

What was I honestly expecting the scale to say? I haven't been eating well and I haven't been tracking. There's really no wonder the scale is up. And if I'm being honest, I'm a little surprised it's not up higher than it is. 

The reason I'm feeling indifferent about the scale is because I took the time to read what I wrote on it. I am not that number. No one else knows what that number is unless I choose to tell them. I have been told by many people who know my weight that I carry it well and they would have never thought I would weigh what I do. 

And I finally looked up a chart that shows a healthy weight range for height and body frame (small, medium or large). According to the scale, I am only 15.2 pounds over a healthy weight, not the 21.4 pounds I thought last week. Granted, 170 is not my goal weight, but at least it would be a closer goal to set for myself that doesn't seem so far out of reach.

Taking my measurements helped as well. Especially since they either stayed the same or went down. Nothing drastic, but at least progress in the right direction.

Of course my initial thought was "I must not be measuring in the same place", but I was and I was happy to see that I am losing inches even if I'm gaining weight. 

I am not concerned about my thighs not losing inches. Yes, I thought they would with all the running I've been doing and with all of the squats, but I can feel a difference. They feel like they are becoming more toned and there is a difference even if they are still 26.25". There's still work to be done, but I'm happy with what my thighs have been able to do.

I am hoping that next month shows progress as well and I intend on doing the work in order to see that progress. I'm only going to get out of it what I put into it..

I decided to work on my self appreciation by writing one positive about myself a day. It makes me think of the good things at the end of each day and then I can see the list at the end of the week to boost my self-esteem.

 

I chose to list them with my weigh in because I know that there will be times that the weigh-in does not go the way I had hoped. I would like to say honestly that the number won't affect me, but it does, so listing my positives will make me focus on that instead of what the scale says. 

 

Positives:

1. I ended up binging on veggie chips. I have to look at this in a positive way because it could have been a lot worse. A lot worse...

2. I am allowing myself to be proud of my running accomplishments as well as putting it out there to brag about.  

3. I wore my HRM for the first time in months and am going to make it a habit to accurately track my calories burned instead of guesstimating.

4. I am taking pride in my running accomplishments instead of passing them off like they are nothing. I'm not going to walk around telling everyone, but it's about time I actually realize that I have done something that's pretty cool and something that not a lot of people have done.

5. I ate a filling lunch so that I wouldn't snack throughout the day before going to dinner with my parents and my in-laws. It was healthy, nutritious and delicious!

6. I bought running shorts. Shorts! I tend to stick with 3/4 pants or full length pants for my runs, but since the whether is getting warmer it is time to stop worrying about what my thighs look like and start focusing on the run.

7. I wrote on my scale so that I can remind myself that it doesn't matter what it says and as a visual reminder to stay off of it for the entire month.