Running > Therapy

I have learned a lot in therapy. Both individual and couples. I've learned things about myself and about our relationship.

I've learned that setting goals for myself should be a way to find success. I've learned that these goals should be obtainable but not easy. I've learned that my self worth should not be base on the successes or failure of said goals. I've learned that I am not responsible for other people's actions. I've learned that learning to trust someone takes time and patience. I've learned that healing from the past is a process that also takes time, and forgiveness. I've learned that pushing down your feelings is damaging and that reliving past hurt sucks...

Therapy is a wonderful thing and I am so lucky to have found two therapists that are able to help me and in turn help improve my marriage. 

But running.. That's a whole other type of therapy. 

When I'm out running one of two things happen. 1) Nothing, my run is solely focused on the act of running- the pain, the distance, my breathing, the sound of my feet on the pavement or 2) I begin the think of something or someone and I have an internal conversation with myself that include an in depth view into my thoughts, emotions and feelings.

I have been known to have full on conversations with myself while running, cleansing some built up feelings to no one. And it may be a fact that I have been caught by total strangers talking out loud. 

A run that provides nothing more than a physical workout is not a bad thing. It is enjoyable, the endorphins are great and I am still improving a part of me.

But a run that works both the physical and mental sides is so much more rewarding. 

I often come back from a run smiling. Very rarely, if ever do I come back with regret for going on a run. Yes, the run may have been painful and if asked I may state the simple fact that it sucked... But it was always, always worth it.

Often times my thoughts are about my past relationship and the pain it caused. These are probably the conversations I should be having with someone... But sometimes my thoughts will go to something happening now- money, wanting to buy a house, a small argument between Patrick and myself, Isabel, work, etc.. 

Going for a run provides clarity more often than not. It can clear the mind and sometimes you can find just what you need.